Yeah, I know the title is disgusting, but that's the point. This weekend I've really been learning how much Satan loves to pick our scabs. If you go through anything painful at all--a bad memory, abuse, lost friends or loved ones--Satan loves to remind you of it when conditions are perfect for him to intervene. You're relationship with God is thriving, you're loving on friends like never before, you're joyful, you're healing from pain. Bam! Re-live this moment. Bam! Be reminded of the past.
Last night is about the time this realization hit me. I left Bloomington for Christmas break and went straight to my parent's church for a Madrigal (not magical, haha)dinner. I have to say I wasn't looking forward to it but I definitely wasn't expecting the night that I had. I saw some old "friends" who I definitely was not expecting or prepared to see and that brought a whole lot of emotion flooding back with memories of our friendship. I was also awkwardly questioned:
"Do you have a boyfriend?" Lady. "No."
(awkward stare)
"I did, but we broke up this summer."
"Oh, he couldn't put up with you anymore, huh?" Lady's husband.
(me awkwardly looking around in shock for a minute)
"Oh...she didn't answer..." Lady.
What was that?! I mean honestly who says that.
Friday started this downward trend of recollections with a movie that brought back a whole heap of mess flooding back to my mind. I couldn't help but wonder if my life was being recorded for a movie. I feel like some of the things that happened were things I only saw happen in movies. Then I realized exactly what was going on. This man and woman weren't just being rude (although that probably is true), they were pawns in Satan's sick game.
Some things that bring us pain in old wounds are necessary for healing to take place. I feel like Friday was probably one of those times. As a result, Satan wanted to keep on bringing me down with unnecessary recounts of the past.
See, salt in a wound is painful but that's because it's healing. It's killing the bacteria that plagues the area and it allows for quicker healing. That's what God does with us. He'll slowly and as gently as He can heal us from the inside out by pouring salt into the wound little by little. He's our peroxide, our ointment, our antibiotic for what lies deeper within. We're reminded of painful things sometimes so that He can release us of the power it has over us.
Satan takes advantage of this. He loves, LOVES, to confuse us as to what is actually beneficial for us. He sees God do this for us and He starts picking away at the scab that starts to heal our wound. He doesn't want us to be healed. He doesn't want us to be joyful. This is what I think was going on yesterday. Satan knew just how to keep picking at me in an attempt to capitalize on my already bleeding heart from the night before.
Because of these things, the ball is then in our court as to how to respond. Do we respond in anger towards God? Do we take it out on everyone around us? Or do we kick Satan in the face and yell at him to back down? I say the latter. Sometimes these instances can cause such great pain that it's hard to remember that we are in Warfare. That we're not only constantly surrounded by God loving and caring for us, but we're also constantly surrounded by the enemy and his minions trying to unravel everything.
Don't back down. Don't let Satan or your wounds control you. Allow God to heal and kick Satan down. Let God take control of EVERY part of you and let go...of EVERYTHING.
December 20, 2009
November 12, 2009
We're Off to See the Wizard of.....Heaven?
So last night, my apartment [minus Kaitlyn RIP to homework :(] went to the IU auditorium to see The Wizard of Oz. It was amazing!! I've never been huge in the Wizard of Oz and I haven't seen it in awhile but this my friends was amazing! The special effects, the lighting, the acting, the singing, the dancing, the orchestra--AMAZING! Of course my favorite part was the tornado....it really was cool how they did it though, I PROMISE! haha
It was really interesting what started to run though my mind, though, when the scene came for Dorothy, Toto, the Scarecrow, the Tin Man, and the Lion to actually get to Oz and meet with the Wizard. The Wizard, much like in the movie, was this huge totem pole looking deal with a huge, colorful, and glowing face who's eyes lit up and smoke poured out of his head when he was angry--which happened often. For real, this dude looked like he was straight out of a Scooby-Doo mystery!
Watching the terror that took over each of the characters as they were in the presence of this enormously frightening bully, I started to see this as how so many of us, Christians and non-Christians included, look at God. They were cowering together in pure fear in the presence of this "almighty." This poor excuse of a tree instilled this fear in them to make himself feel superior. He delighted in making them afraid and fearful. As he called each of them by name to stand in front of him, and basically mocked and judged them, each person reacted out of this controlling fright. Psssh, I would too! I remember the Tin Man stuttering, "Yee, yeee, yeessss, your Honor..I mean Sir...your Majesty."
So often, we come to God for help, wisdom, understanding, a trip home. We use God as this "Wizard" who we desperately hope will grant our every wish...according to his purpose of course...The thing is, this is exactly how we have a tendency of seeing Him. We see Him as this freaky totem-pole looking creature who is all wise and all knowing who, when we ask for something big, requires us to bring him something back in return in order for Him to return the favor. If you'll recall, when Dorothy and the others tell the Wizard their intentions for coming to Oz--to get a heart, a brain, some courage, back to Kansas--he requires that they must bring back the Wicked Witch of the West's broom first.
God does not, will not, shall not--that's right, shall not--require ANYTHING...let me repeat, ANYTHING...from us in return for Him to love us. God loves without agenda, without fault, without selfish ambition. That's another thing, God LOVES. This distant Wizard, who is actually a phony, is only there to gain power and control over the people and as a result gain respect from those who fear him. God is not like that in any way. God acts out of love, HIS LOVE. He is not distant, we do not have to travel to find Him, He does not glow and blow smoke when He's angry (although that might be kind of cool), He does not require anything in return.
We so many times fall into that trap of seeing God in that light though :/ Because we see God this way, we're afraid to get too close, realizing that it was a scam all along--that really, it was just a man behind the red curtain.
I almost vouch to say that this is what religion is and why it's so easy for us to see God that way. Often times religion claims to have all the answers, the ability to move mountains as long as you get involved, as long as you volunteer at the pitch-in lunches or in the little kids Sunday school. After you "pay your dues" so to speak, you will gain your benefit of God granting your wish. Once we get further enveloped into this scheme, we uncover the fact that it wasn't God all along that was behind the curtain, it was man. Then what are we left with? Anger, shame, hate.
God is right here, right now. God is next to you always and if you're in relationship with Him, He's inside of your heart at every second of every hour of every day of every week of every month of every year, etc. Don't let God become this freaky face that wants to instill fear and boss you around, see Him for who He truly is. We don't need to come to him in a stuttering despair of "Almighty," "Sir," "King of Kings," "Your Majesty."
"Your heart is not judged based on how much you love others, it's based on how much you are loved by [God]."--The Wizard from the Wizard of Oz (I know, I replaced "others" at the end with "God" :)
It was really interesting what started to run though my mind, though, when the scene came for Dorothy, Toto, the Scarecrow, the Tin Man, and the Lion to actually get to Oz and meet with the Wizard. The Wizard, much like in the movie, was this huge totem pole looking deal with a huge, colorful, and glowing face who's eyes lit up and smoke poured out of his head when he was angry--which happened often. For real, this dude looked like he was straight out of a Scooby-Doo mystery!
Watching the terror that took over each of the characters as they were in the presence of this enormously frightening bully, I started to see this as how so many of us, Christians and non-Christians included, look at God. They were cowering together in pure fear in the presence of this "almighty." This poor excuse of a tree instilled this fear in them to make himself feel superior. He delighted in making them afraid and fearful. As he called each of them by name to stand in front of him, and basically mocked and judged them, each person reacted out of this controlling fright. Psssh, I would too! I remember the Tin Man stuttering, "Yee, yeee, yeessss, your Honor..I mean Sir...your Majesty."
So often, we come to God for help, wisdom, understanding, a trip home. We use God as this "Wizard" who we desperately hope will grant our every wish...according to his purpose of course...The thing is, this is exactly how we have a tendency of seeing Him. We see Him as this freaky totem-pole looking creature who is all wise and all knowing who, when we ask for something big, requires us to bring him something back in return in order for Him to return the favor. If you'll recall, when Dorothy and the others tell the Wizard their intentions for coming to Oz--to get a heart, a brain, some courage, back to Kansas--he requires that they must bring back the Wicked Witch of the West's broom first.
God does not, will not, shall not--that's right, shall not--require ANYTHING...let me repeat, ANYTHING...from us in return for Him to love us. God loves without agenda, without fault, without selfish ambition. That's another thing, God LOVES. This distant Wizard, who is actually a phony, is only there to gain power and control over the people and as a result gain respect from those who fear him. God is not like that in any way. God acts out of love, HIS LOVE. He is not distant, we do not have to travel to find Him, He does not glow and blow smoke when He's angry (although that might be kind of cool), He does not require anything in return.
We so many times fall into that trap of seeing God in that light though :/ Because we see God this way, we're afraid to get too close, realizing that it was a scam all along--that really, it was just a man behind the red curtain.
I almost vouch to say that this is what religion is and why it's so easy for us to see God that way. Often times religion claims to have all the answers, the ability to move mountains as long as you get involved, as long as you volunteer at the pitch-in lunches or in the little kids Sunday school. After you "pay your dues" so to speak, you will gain your benefit of God granting your wish. Once we get further enveloped into this scheme, we uncover the fact that it wasn't God all along that was behind the curtain, it was man. Then what are we left with? Anger, shame, hate.
God is right here, right now. God is next to you always and if you're in relationship with Him, He's inside of your heart at every second of every hour of every day of every week of every month of every year, etc. Don't let God become this freaky face that wants to instill fear and boss you around, see Him for who He truly is. We don't need to come to him in a stuttering despair of "Almighty," "Sir," "King of Kings," "Your Majesty."
"Your heart is not judged based on how much you love others, it's based on how much you are loved by [God]."--The Wizard from the Wizard of Oz (I know, I replaced "others" at the end with "God" :)
November 04, 2009
Ministry: Lucy's Playground
Today, I had lunch with an awesome friend of mine and we caught up on life and talked about our struggles, our thoughts, our desires. One key topic that continued to thrive in my mind was ministry.
Looking back on it, a lot of my pain and hurts the past few years have definitely been a result of some aspect of ministry. Now before you automatically put up your defenses as you read the rest of this blog, open your heart and your mind and hear me out.
What is ministry? Before reading the "technical" definition, my response would be that ministry is a tool we as people, usually Christians, use to better reach people for God and to determine ways to better serve God. I just looked up the definition according to dictionary.com and got this, "the act of serving; something that serves as an agency, instrument, or means." Hmmmmm, a curious definition I think. Two words I thought were key in that definition were "serve" and "instrument." I especially think "instrument" is an interesting aspect.
Near the end of our lunch today, my friend Tiffany and I were talking about ministry and about the role ministry has played in our lives since we've been at college-- both our frustrations with and our advantages from it. Why does there seem to be so many problems within a church? So much pain and so many disgruntled attenders...Why does there seem to be so many problems in Christian organizations altogether? So much pain and so many disgruntled attenders... I think the answer is a simple yet complex intertwining of things that basically boils down to this: Satan sees us trying to create "spiritual multiplication" thus he introduces "spiritual division."
Lucy, short for Lucifer and much more degrading, is the destroyer. He knows he lost the Christian, Christ's bride, forever and he's mad as hell! So what's he going to do about it, sit down and pout and throw a temper tantrum? HECK YEAH! You better believe he will because he is a ruthless, temperamental, petty little waa-waa who always tries to get what he wants--at any cost. Oh and guess what, YOU ARE HIS TARGET!
If you follow Christ, if you love God, Lucy hates you. Sorry to break it to you but he hates you almost as much as he hates God. Wow, sorry that's a lot. Now here's the kicker: he's a clever little bugger and he loves the twisted irony in situations so of course he's going to try and weasel his little repulsive face in the areas that we as Christians consider sacred. Insert: MINISTRY.
Now, you're probably like, "Whoa, hold up K Lu. Are you trying to say ministry is actually a messed up pawn in Lucy's game?" Uh no. Well, it doesn't have to be but it very well can be made into that if we're not VERY careful.
Pop Quiz:
Lucy's mission in life is to:
a)make sure as few people as possible get to know the true and real Gospel and/or God
b)make a mockery of God's name
c)glorify himself
d)all of the above and much more
DING DING DING, the answer is......D! (Looks like C isn't always right after all ;)
Lucy likes to to mock God's name in such a way that he'll use it against Him, such as in ministry. Okay, now I've gone into why Lucy would want to do this so let's talk about how ey?
Love. Selflessness. Discipline. Growth. All are aspects of a healthy and vibrant ministry that is God-centered and God-favored. Lack of these areas shows an issue with the big picture. All go hand-in-hand really but let's break these apart.
Love is a four-letter word with detrimental reprecussions=> that's right, detrimental. If a person loves well, that person is one of the most, if not the most, dangerous adversaries to Lucy. Love breaks down barriers, illuminates God more than anything else (other than God Himself), provides both grace and truth, and allows for the following three aspects of a healthy ministry to be possible. Have you ever talked to someone who you thought you could trust, wanted to trust, with something really deep and hard in your life just to be brushed aside? I have. I felt like I was worth less than a penny that got ran over 5 times by a steam engine. Have you ever talked to someone who you thought you could trust, wanted to trust, with something really deep and hard in your life just to be overwhelmed with love, hugs, and attempted understanding? I have. I felt like God's very created child. Love is the greatest commandment because love is fundamental to faith. Love is God. God is love. A lack of love reveals a lack of God. If you take on a leadership role you are held to a higher standard. If you are representing Christ and are open about it you are held to a higher standard. Whether you like it or not you are now a role model of Christ. SURPRISE!
Selflessness is impossible without love. This is the order of things AT ALL TIMES--wait, did I say ALL--AT ALL TIMES: God, Everyone else, You. God always comes first no doubt, right? Everyone always comes before you. Please let me repeat, EVERYONE ALWAYS COMES BEFORE YOU. We only get one life to get this right. Only one life to love people like never before. Only one life to help save a person from loneliness. Only one life to be there for someone. Now, comes you. But you're tired, right? But you're hungry, right? But you're sick, right? But you're busy, right? But you're stressed, right? Yeah, me too. Aren't we all. Who cares. Please answer me this, what's more important, you getting 2 more hours of sleep or you taking the time to LISTEN to someone who is dying on the inside and only wants to feel loved? Or, how about a few less hours of sleep to help a person to understand God better when in the process you'll probably come out with a better understanding yourself. We can sleep when we can no longer live so please don't let that be an excuse. Take care of other people and let them take care of you--the heart of selflessness. Get over yourself and carry the burden with your friend or even your foe. I know, it's an abrasive way of putting it but I have to say I'm pretty tired of selfishness. If you take on a leadership role you are held to a higher standard. If you are representing Christ and are open about it you are held to a higher standard. Whether you like it or not you are now a role model of Christ. SURPRISE!
Discipline is simple. If the words come out of your mouth don't you dare let your life give people a whole new, and I must say inaccurate, understanding. If you take on a leadership role you are held to a higher standard. If you are representing Christ and are open about it you are held to a higher standard. Whether you like it or not you are now a role model of Christ. SURPRISE!
Growth is evidence of life. If a child isn't growing then you know there's obviously something wrong with his or her body. If the ministry isn't growing the body is decaying. If there's not "spiritual multiplication" there is "spiritual division" and if you know anything about math in any way you know that one is growing and the other is decaying until it pretty much is no more. If you take on a leadership role you are held to a higher standard. If you are representing Christ and are open about it you are held to a higher standard. Whether you like it or not you are now a role model of Christ. SURPRISE!
If you feel like I was aiming this at a specific group or person you are mistaken. I've seen this all too much with too many people, including myself yes, and with too many Christian organizations, including churches. So, if you feel like I was pointing you out, I wasn't, maybe you have a guilty conscience. This was a little intense I know but warfare is no joke. Make the commitment to step it up, I will too.
Looking back on it, a lot of my pain and hurts the past few years have definitely been a result of some aspect of ministry. Now before you automatically put up your defenses as you read the rest of this blog, open your heart and your mind and hear me out.
What is ministry? Before reading the "technical" definition, my response would be that ministry is a tool we as people, usually Christians, use to better reach people for God and to determine ways to better serve God. I just looked up the definition according to dictionary.com and got this, "the act of serving; something that serves as an agency, instrument, or means." Hmmmmm, a curious definition I think. Two words I thought were key in that definition were "serve" and "instrument." I especially think "instrument" is an interesting aspect.
Near the end of our lunch today, my friend Tiffany and I were talking about ministry and about the role ministry has played in our lives since we've been at college-- both our frustrations with and our advantages from it. Why does there seem to be so many problems within a church? So much pain and so many disgruntled attenders...Why does there seem to be so many problems in Christian organizations altogether? So much pain and so many disgruntled attenders... I think the answer is a simple yet complex intertwining of things that basically boils down to this: Satan sees us trying to create "spiritual multiplication" thus he introduces "spiritual division."
Lucy, short for Lucifer and much more degrading, is the destroyer. He knows he lost the Christian, Christ's bride, forever and he's mad as hell! So what's he going to do about it, sit down and pout and throw a temper tantrum? HECK YEAH! You better believe he will because he is a ruthless, temperamental, petty little waa-waa who always tries to get what he wants--at any cost. Oh and guess what, YOU ARE HIS TARGET!
If you follow Christ, if you love God, Lucy hates you. Sorry to break it to you but he hates you almost as much as he hates God. Wow, sorry that's a lot. Now here's the kicker: he's a clever little bugger and he loves the twisted irony in situations so of course he's going to try and weasel his little repulsive face in the areas that we as Christians consider sacred. Insert: MINISTRY.
Now, you're probably like, "Whoa, hold up K Lu. Are you trying to say ministry is actually a messed up pawn in Lucy's game?" Uh no. Well, it doesn't have to be but it very well can be made into that if we're not VERY careful.
Pop Quiz:
Lucy's mission in life is to:
a)make sure as few people as possible get to know the true and real Gospel and/or God
b)make a mockery of God's name
c)glorify himself
d)all of the above and much more
DING DING DING, the answer is......D! (Looks like C isn't always right after all ;)
Lucy likes to to mock God's name in such a way that he'll use it against Him, such as in ministry. Okay, now I've gone into why Lucy would want to do this so let's talk about how ey?
Love. Selflessness. Discipline. Growth. All are aspects of a healthy and vibrant ministry that is God-centered and God-favored. Lack of these areas shows an issue with the big picture. All go hand-in-hand really but let's break these apart.
Love is a four-letter word with detrimental reprecussions=> that's right, detrimental. If a person loves well, that person is one of the most, if not the most, dangerous adversaries to Lucy. Love breaks down barriers, illuminates God more than anything else (other than God Himself), provides both grace and truth, and allows for the following three aspects of a healthy ministry to be possible. Have you ever talked to someone who you thought you could trust, wanted to trust, with something really deep and hard in your life just to be brushed aside? I have. I felt like I was worth less than a penny that got ran over 5 times by a steam engine. Have you ever talked to someone who you thought you could trust, wanted to trust, with something really deep and hard in your life just to be overwhelmed with love, hugs, and attempted understanding? I have. I felt like God's very created child. Love is the greatest commandment because love is fundamental to faith. Love is God. God is love. A lack of love reveals a lack of God. If you take on a leadership role you are held to a higher standard. If you are representing Christ and are open about it you are held to a higher standard. Whether you like it or not you are now a role model of Christ. SURPRISE!
Selflessness is impossible without love. This is the order of things AT ALL TIMES--wait, did I say ALL--AT ALL TIMES: God, Everyone else, You. God always comes first no doubt, right? Everyone always comes before you. Please let me repeat, EVERYONE ALWAYS COMES BEFORE YOU. We only get one life to get this right. Only one life to love people like never before. Only one life to help save a person from loneliness. Only one life to be there for someone. Now, comes you. But you're tired, right? But you're hungry, right? But you're sick, right? But you're busy, right? But you're stressed, right? Yeah, me too. Aren't we all. Who cares. Please answer me this, what's more important, you getting 2 more hours of sleep or you taking the time to LISTEN to someone who is dying on the inside and only wants to feel loved? Or, how about a few less hours of sleep to help a person to understand God better when in the process you'll probably come out with a better understanding yourself. We can sleep when we can no longer live so please don't let that be an excuse. Take care of other people and let them take care of you--the heart of selflessness. Get over yourself and carry the burden with your friend or even your foe. I know, it's an abrasive way of putting it but I have to say I'm pretty tired of selfishness. If you take on a leadership role you are held to a higher standard. If you are representing Christ and are open about it you are held to a higher standard. Whether you like it or not you are now a role model of Christ. SURPRISE!
Discipline is simple. If the words come out of your mouth don't you dare let your life give people a whole new, and I must say inaccurate, understanding. If you take on a leadership role you are held to a higher standard. If you are representing Christ and are open about it you are held to a higher standard. Whether you like it or not you are now a role model of Christ. SURPRISE!
Growth is evidence of life. If a child isn't growing then you know there's obviously something wrong with his or her body. If the ministry isn't growing the body is decaying. If there's not "spiritual multiplication" there is "spiritual division" and if you know anything about math in any way you know that one is growing and the other is decaying until it pretty much is no more. If you take on a leadership role you are held to a higher standard. If you are representing Christ and are open about it you are held to a higher standard. Whether you like it or not you are now a role model of Christ. SURPRISE!
If you feel like I was aiming this at a specific group or person you are mistaken. I've seen this all too much with too many people, including myself yes, and with too many Christian organizations, including churches. So, if you feel like I was pointing you out, I wasn't, maybe you have a guilty conscience. This was a little intense I know but warfare is no joke. Make the commitment to step it up, I will too.
October 30, 2009
An Interesting Look into God's Heart
Recently, I've been reading The Shack by Wm. Paul Young. It's been a really awesome book in looking at a whole new perspective in seeing God for who He really is rather than who WE say He is. Check out this awesome analogy about God's love for His children and why people can still end up in Hell despite His love for us...
"'Well, each one of my children is unique. And that uniqueness and special personhood calls out a unique response from me.' Mack settled back into his chair. 'I remember after Jon, my first was born. I was so captivated by the wonder of who this little life was that I actually worried about whether I would have anything left to love a second child with. But when Tyler came along, it was as if he brought with him a special gift for me, a whole new capacity to love him specifically. Come to think of it, it's like when Papa(God) says she is especially fond of someone. When I think of each of my children individually, I find that I am especially fond of each one.'
...'But what about when they do not behave, or they make choices other than those you would want them to make, or they are just belligerent and rude? What about when they embarrass you in front of others? How does that affect your love for them?'
Mack responded slowly and deliberately, 'It doesn't, really...I admit that it does affect me and sometimes I get embarrassed or angry, but even when they act badly, they are still my sons and my daughter, they are still Josh and Kate, and they will be forever. What they do might affect my pride, but not my love for them.'
...'So, who is it that I am supposed to judge?' 'God'--she paused--'and the human race.' Mack was dumbfounded. 'You have got to be kidding!' he exclaimed.
'Why not? Surely there are many people in your world you think deserve judgement. There must be at least a few who are to blame for so much of the pain and suffering. What about the greedy who feed off the poor of the world? What about the ones who sacrifice their young children to war? What about the men who beat their wives, Mackenzie? What about the fathers who beat their sons for no reason but to assuage their own suffering? Don't they deserve judgement, Mackenzie?'
...'And what about the man who prays on innocent little girls? What about him, Mackenzie? Is that man guilty? Should he be judged?' 'Yes!' screamed Mack. 'Damn him to hell!'
'Is he to blame for your loss?' 'Yes!' 'What about his father, the man who twisted his son into a terror, what about him?'
'Yes him too!' 'How far do we go back, Mackenzie? This legacy of brokenness goes all the way back to Adam--what about him? But why stop there? What about God? God started this whole thing. Is God to blame?'
Mack was reeling. He didn't feel like a judge at all, but rather the one on trial. The woman was unrelenting. 'Isn't this where you are stuck, Mackenzie? Isn't this what fuels The Great Sadness? That God cannot be trusted? Surely, a father like you can judge the father!'
Again his anger rose like a towering flame. He wanted to lash out, but she was right and there was no point in denying it.
She continued, 'Isn't that just your complaint, Mackenzie? That God has failed you, that he failed Missy? That before the creation, God knew that one day you and your Missy would be brutalized, and still he created? And then he allowed that twisted sould to snatch her from your loving arms when he had the power to stop him. Isn't God to blame, Mackenzie?'
Mack was looking at the floor, a flurry of images pulling his emotions in every direction. Finally he said it, louder than he intended, and pointed his finger right at her. 'Yes! God is to blame!' The accusation hung in the room as the gavel fell in his heart.
'Then,' she said with finality, 'if you are able to judge God so easily, you certainly can judge the world.' Again she spoke without emotion.' You must choose two of your children to spend eternity in God's new heavens and new earth, but only two.'
'What?' he erupted, turning to her in disbelief. 'And you must choose three of your children to spend eternity in hell.'
Mack couldn't believe what he was hearing and started to panic.
'Mackenzie." Her voice now came as a calm and wonderful as he had first heard it. 'I am only asking you to do something you believe God does. He knows every person ever conceived, and he knows them so much more deeply and clearly than you will ever know your own children. He loves each one according to his knowledge of the being of that son or daughter. You believe he will condemn most to an eternity of torment, away from his presence and apart from his love. Is that not true?'
'I suppose I do. I've just never thought about it like this.' He was stumbling over his words in shock. 'I just assumed that somehow God could do that. Talking about hell was always sort of an abstract conversation, not about anyone that I truly...' Mack hesitated, realizing that what he was about to say would sound ugly. 'Not about anyone that I truly cared about.'
'So you suppose, then, that God does this easily, but you cannot? Come now, Mackenzie. Which three of your five children will you sentence to hell? Katie is struggling with you the most right now. She treats you badly and has said hurtful things to you. Perhaps she is the first and most logical choice. What about her? You are the judge, Mackenzie, and you must choose.'
'I don't want to be the judge,' he said, standing up. Mack's mind was racing. This couldn't be real. How could God ask him to choose among his own children? There was no way he could sentence Katie, or any of his other children, to an eternity in hell just because she had sinned against him. Even if Katie or Josh or Jon or Tyler committed some heinous crime, he still wouldn't do it. He couldn't! For him, it wasn't about their performance, it was about his love for them.
'I can't do this,' he said softly. 'You must,' she replied. 'I can't do this,' he said louder and more vehemently. 'You must,' she said again, her voice softer. 'I...will...not...do...this!' Mack yelled, his blood boiling hot inside him.
'You must,' she whispered. 'I can't. I can't. I won't!' he screamed, and now the words and emotions came tumbling out. The woman just stood watching and waiting. Finally he looked at her, pleading with his eyes. 'Could I go instead? If you need someone to tortue for eternity, I'll go in their place. Would that work? Could I do that?' He fell at her feet, crying and begging now. 'Please let me go for my children. Please, I would be happy...Please, I am begging you. Please...Please...'
'Mackenzie, Mackenzie,' she whispered, and her words came like a splash of cool water on a brutally hot day. Her hands gently touched his cheeks as she lifted him to his feet. Looking at her through blurring tears, he could see that her smile was radiant. 'Now you sound like Jesus. You have judged well, Mackenzie. I am so proud of you.'
'But I haven't judged anything,' Mack offered in confusion. 'Oh, but you have. You have judged them worthy of love, even if it costs you everything. That is how Jesus loves.' When he heard the words he thought of his new friend waiting by the lake. 'And now you know Papa's heart,' she added, 'who loves all her children perfectly.'"
WOW
"'Well, each one of my children is unique. And that uniqueness and special personhood calls out a unique response from me.' Mack settled back into his chair. 'I remember after Jon, my first was born. I was so captivated by the wonder of who this little life was that I actually worried about whether I would have anything left to love a second child with. But when Tyler came along, it was as if he brought with him a special gift for me, a whole new capacity to love him specifically. Come to think of it, it's like when Papa(God) says she is especially fond of someone. When I think of each of my children individually, I find that I am especially fond of each one.'
...'But what about when they do not behave, or they make choices other than those you would want them to make, or they are just belligerent and rude? What about when they embarrass you in front of others? How does that affect your love for them?'
Mack responded slowly and deliberately, 'It doesn't, really...I admit that it does affect me and sometimes I get embarrassed or angry, but even when they act badly, they are still my sons and my daughter, they are still Josh and Kate, and they will be forever. What they do might affect my pride, but not my love for them.'
...'So, who is it that I am supposed to judge?' 'God'--she paused--'and the human race.' Mack was dumbfounded. 'You have got to be kidding!' he exclaimed.
'Why not? Surely there are many people in your world you think deserve judgement. There must be at least a few who are to blame for so much of the pain and suffering. What about the greedy who feed off the poor of the world? What about the ones who sacrifice their young children to war? What about the men who beat their wives, Mackenzie? What about the fathers who beat their sons for no reason but to assuage their own suffering? Don't they deserve judgement, Mackenzie?'
...'And what about the man who prays on innocent little girls? What about him, Mackenzie? Is that man guilty? Should he be judged?' 'Yes!' screamed Mack. 'Damn him to hell!'
'Is he to blame for your loss?' 'Yes!' 'What about his father, the man who twisted his son into a terror, what about him?'
'Yes him too!' 'How far do we go back, Mackenzie? This legacy of brokenness goes all the way back to Adam--what about him? But why stop there? What about God? God started this whole thing. Is God to blame?'
Mack was reeling. He didn't feel like a judge at all, but rather the one on trial. The woman was unrelenting. 'Isn't this where you are stuck, Mackenzie? Isn't this what fuels The Great Sadness? That God cannot be trusted? Surely, a father like you can judge the father!'
Again his anger rose like a towering flame. He wanted to lash out, but she was right and there was no point in denying it.
She continued, 'Isn't that just your complaint, Mackenzie? That God has failed you, that he failed Missy? That before the creation, God knew that one day you and your Missy would be brutalized, and still he created? And then he allowed that twisted sould to snatch her from your loving arms when he had the power to stop him. Isn't God to blame, Mackenzie?'
Mack was looking at the floor, a flurry of images pulling his emotions in every direction. Finally he said it, louder than he intended, and pointed his finger right at her. 'Yes! God is to blame!' The accusation hung in the room as the gavel fell in his heart.
'Then,' she said with finality, 'if you are able to judge God so easily, you certainly can judge the world.' Again she spoke without emotion.' You must choose two of your children to spend eternity in God's new heavens and new earth, but only two.'
'What?' he erupted, turning to her in disbelief. 'And you must choose three of your children to spend eternity in hell.'
Mack couldn't believe what he was hearing and started to panic.
'Mackenzie." Her voice now came as a calm and wonderful as he had first heard it. 'I am only asking you to do something you believe God does. He knows every person ever conceived, and he knows them so much more deeply and clearly than you will ever know your own children. He loves each one according to his knowledge of the being of that son or daughter. You believe he will condemn most to an eternity of torment, away from his presence and apart from his love. Is that not true?'
'I suppose I do. I've just never thought about it like this.' He was stumbling over his words in shock. 'I just assumed that somehow God could do that. Talking about hell was always sort of an abstract conversation, not about anyone that I truly...' Mack hesitated, realizing that what he was about to say would sound ugly. 'Not about anyone that I truly cared about.'
'So you suppose, then, that God does this easily, but you cannot? Come now, Mackenzie. Which three of your five children will you sentence to hell? Katie is struggling with you the most right now. She treats you badly and has said hurtful things to you. Perhaps she is the first and most logical choice. What about her? You are the judge, Mackenzie, and you must choose.'
'I don't want to be the judge,' he said, standing up. Mack's mind was racing. This couldn't be real. How could God ask him to choose among his own children? There was no way he could sentence Katie, or any of his other children, to an eternity in hell just because she had sinned against him. Even if Katie or Josh or Jon or Tyler committed some heinous crime, he still wouldn't do it. He couldn't! For him, it wasn't about their performance, it was about his love for them.
'I can't do this,' he said softly. 'You must,' she replied. 'I can't do this,' he said louder and more vehemently. 'You must,' she said again, her voice softer. 'I...will...not...do...this!' Mack yelled, his blood boiling hot inside him.
'You must,' she whispered. 'I can't. I can't. I won't!' he screamed, and now the words and emotions came tumbling out. The woman just stood watching and waiting. Finally he looked at her, pleading with his eyes. 'Could I go instead? If you need someone to tortue for eternity, I'll go in their place. Would that work? Could I do that?' He fell at her feet, crying and begging now. 'Please let me go for my children. Please, I would be happy...Please, I am begging you. Please...Please...'
'Mackenzie, Mackenzie,' she whispered, and her words came like a splash of cool water on a brutally hot day. Her hands gently touched his cheeks as she lifted him to his feet. Looking at her through blurring tears, he could see that her smile was radiant. 'Now you sound like Jesus. You have judged well, Mackenzie. I am so proud of you.'
'But I haven't judged anything,' Mack offered in confusion. 'Oh, but you have. You have judged them worthy of love, even if it costs you everything. That is how Jesus loves.' When he heard the words he thought of his new friend waiting by the lake. 'And now you know Papa's heart,' she added, 'who loves all her children perfectly.'"
WOW
October 15, 2009
The Design
I'm sitting here in my computer programming class, obviously not doing my assignment, when I started to realize the complexity and the reality of Intelligent Design as we know it. This realization started when I simply put the heading on my paper, "Assignment 3: The Design."
In this class, our next assignment is to create a computer program that allows a person to play a real game of tic tac toe with the computer. Since this isn't really like the other two previous assignments given, our professor delgated most of our points for this to come from the actual layout of the program--the design. In this design, we have to go through step-by-step processes of how this computer needs to make this happen. My professor always tells us that a computer is slow and dumb. You have to tell it EVERY little detail and step or it won't do exactly what you want--there are no implications already within the computer.
The more I thought about it, the more it made since as to how God--an Intelligent Designer--would go about creating us. See, for this programming editor, all the tools necessary are there--it's merely lost in translation. Someone needs to know the language, the steps necessary, the details needed in order to untangle the mess and put it all into motion, creating a useful product.
The earth is like a computer editor in this sense. All the tools needed to create life are there but there's no way for them to come together as a useful product without a mediator--someone to untangle the mess and speak the language. Both the computer and the earth use impartial reasoning to dictate it's every move. Both are rather slow and somewhat dumb on it's own...Think about it, they have all these useful tools and processes available but yet they don't do anything with that unless otherwise dictated.
For example, every ingredient may be present within the atmosphere to generate a thunderstorm or even a supercell. However, all of this is in vain if there is no approaching cold front, high terrain such as mountains, or a similar "trigger." (We ran into this a lot storm chasing this summer). Something needs to happen to force all of these ingredients to come together, to mix them together in a big blender and produce this amazing, powerful, and awe-inspiring storm. All of the processes are present. The laws of physics and reasoning still apply. All of the ingredients there. Now what?
The Mixer.
All the physical laws and processes, chemicals, etc. were present during the time mankind came into existence but is that enough? These things needed a trigger, a mixer, a programmer, a Creator. Life needed an Intelligent Being to untangle the mess and put each process into motion step-by-step and detail by detail. Life needed a fluent speaker of the language of physics, reason, chemistry, and dare I say love.
In this class, our next assignment is to create a computer program that allows a person to play a real game of tic tac toe with the computer. Since this isn't really like the other two previous assignments given, our professor delgated most of our points for this to come from the actual layout of the program--the design. In this design, we have to go through step-by-step processes of how this computer needs to make this happen. My professor always tells us that a computer is slow and dumb. You have to tell it EVERY little detail and step or it won't do exactly what you want--there are no implications already within the computer.
The more I thought about it, the more it made since as to how God--an Intelligent Designer--would go about creating us. See, for this programming editor, all the tools necessary are there--it's merely lost in translation. Someone needs to know the language, the steps necessary, the details needed in order to untangle the mess and put it all into motion, creating a useful product.
The earth is like a computer editor in this sense. All the tools needed to create life are there but there's no way for them to come together as a useful product without a mediator--someone to untangle the mess and speak the language. Both the computer and the earth use impartial reasoning to dictate it's every move. Both are rather slow and somewhat dumb on it's own...Think about it, they have all these useful tools and processes available but yet they don't do anything with that unless otherwise dictated.
For example, every ingredient may be present within the atmosphere to generate a thunderstorm or even a supercell. However, all of this is in vain if there is no approaching cold front, high terrain such as mountains, or a similar "trigger." (We ran into this a lot storm chasing this summer). Something needs to happen to force all of these ingredients to come together, to mix them together in a big blender and produce this amazing, powerful, and awe-inspiring storm. All of the processes are present. The laws of physics and reasoning still apply. All of the ingredients there. Now what?
The Mixer.
All the physical laws and processes, chemicals, etc. were present during the time mankind came into existence but is that enough? These things needed a trigger, a mixer, a programmer, a Creator. Life needed an Intelligent Being to untangle the mess and put each process into motion step-by-step and detail by detail. Life needed a fluent speaker of the language of physics, reason, chemistry, and dare I say love.
September 24, 2009
A Great Day for Ducks!
To begin, if you haven't read the blog right before this one ("Come Out, Come Out Wherever You Are..."), please do before reading this...It gives you some background into this blog.
With that said, I have had the most fantastic worse past hour and a half or so...maybe longer. Today was a pretty rainy day all around and I of course still do not have rainboots or an umbrella--after being at college for 2 years having to walk in all weather. After class, I had to meet with a photographer to do a photo shoot...I know random, right? He wanted me to stand in the rain so that my hair would be wet because it had to do with my storm chasing trip this past summer. I was only slightly annoyed with that because I thought it'd be weird, but whatever. It was only slightly sprinkling at that point so it wasn't too bad and I only had to do this awkwardness for like 10 minutes.
I decided to head through the union on my way to the bus back home to stay dry a little longer. When I got to the door I was going to leave through, I saw that it was POURING! I walked outside under the green awning and stared at it for a second wondering what in the world I was going to do. The bus stop was still a good 5 or so blocks away and I was bound to get wet. Awesome. I ran back into the union to grab a newspaper--fell on the way in, haha--and held it over my head as I started my journey.
It seemed to start raining harder and all that was managing to stay dry was my face and front of my head. I had already rolled up my pants because I didn't want to get them too wet, of course. I finally got closer to the bus stop--maybe half a block away--just to see it leave. This bus only comes every 20 minutes. I didn't know what to do but only slightly laugh at the ridiculousness of what I thought this situation was. I would have to stand out in this rain for 20 more minutes just to wait for the next bus but there was no way I was walking back in that mess!
I started to stand next to a lucky guy with an umbrella, who didn't offer to share
:(, and my arms were tired of holding the newspaper so I just let it sit on my head haha. Cars were driving by and people were staring at me and some laughing but I couldn't help but laugh either. I was already getting fairly wet and I have a flippin newspaper on my head. I waited for awhile and then the weirdest, but most awesome, thing happened.
I could feel this tug, this urge, this slight voice say, "Hey come walk home..It'll be fuuuuun." Ha! Right. I'm wearing a white shirt, that's not gonna fly sorry. "No, you have a pink tank top under, it's all good." That's ridiculous! It's too far. "No it's not." It's too wet! "No it's not." I don't want to. "Come on." Okay, if the bus doesn't come in the count to 10 .1.2.3.4.5.6.7...10...Okay, fine.
I couldn't stop laughing and I looked over at the umbrella dude just to see him looking at me ridiculously and laughing at me. I turned, took the newspaper off my head, and crossed the street in the pouring rain feeling the most ridiculous I've felt in such a long time. I smiled at people as I walked by and I was all the while wondering why in the world I was walking in this rain with my bookbag and dressed in normal clothes.
Quickly after I started walking I could tell exactly why this was the best decision I've made in a long time. God wanted me to come play. I tiptoed around puddles just to be splashed by one. So, I started jumping in them and laughing. I felt like such a kid and I had such amazing childlike joy. It was as if God was saying, "I've been waiting for this time to spend with you. You told me you felt so dirty the other night, let me clean you :)"
Whoever said getting clean isn't a dirty job lied. I had grass and woodchips all over my feet and ankles, I was literally dripping with water, and every person that saw me couldn't stop staring at me wondering why I was so happy to walk in this horrible weather.
God bring on the rain. Give me more! Make it POUR!! I wanted to challenge Him to see if He would do it. I was teasing Him and I truly truly TRULY knew He was walking right along side me playing in the rain with me. Oh it was AMAZING!!! I lost sight of any sort of embarrasment I started out with and I couldn't stop smiling and laughing. This is where I needed to be all along.
Near the end of my wet and wild trip, I came up to two older women crossing guards at Hillside and Henderson. I stood in the rain at that intersection in the pouring rain and had to wait for the light to change for like 5 minutes. I finally started crossing the intersection when the old lady crossing guard said, "It's a good day for ducks!" and smiled. I looked at her really confused and said, "Uh, what?" "It's a good day for ducks!!" I said, "Yes, it is!" and kept walking.
I maybe took three steps and started laughing hysterically, haha. What a marvelous day that I've been able to spend with my Savior, my Redeemer, my Husband, my Papa :)
When I got home, I checked the mail and I had an awesome and encouraging card from my dearest Lynshay. Inside was the best thing that made me laugh even harder...a colored picture of a little globe with every kind of weather around it--including rain :)
With that said, I have had the most fantastic worse past hour and a half or so...maybe longer. Today was a pretty rainy day all around and I of course still do not have rainboots or an umbrella--after being at college for 2 years having to walk in all weather. After class, I had to meet with a photographer to do a photo shoot...I know random, right? He wanted me to stand in the rain so that my hair would be wet because it had to do with my storm chasing trip this past summer. I was only slightly annoyed with that because I thought it'd be weird, but whatever. It was only slightly sprinkling at that point so it wasn't too bad and I only had to do this awkwardness for like 10 minutes.
I decided to head through the union on my way to the bus back home to stay dry a little longer. When I got to the door I was going to leave through, I saw that it was POURING! I walked outside under the green awning and stared at it for a second wondering what in the world I was going to do. The bus stop was still a good 5 or so blocks away and I was bound to get wet. Awesome. I ran back into the union to grab a newspaper--fell on the way in, haha--and held it over my head as I started my journey.
It seemed to start raining harder and all that was managing to stay dry was my face and front of my head. I had already rolled up my pants because I didn't want to get them too wet, of course. I finally got closer to the bus stop--maybe half a block away--just to see it leave. This bus only comes every 20 minutes. I didn't know what to do but only slightly laugh at the ridiculousness of what I thought this situation was. I would have to stand out in this rain for 20 more minutes just to wait for the next bus but there was no way I was walking back in that mess!
I started to stand next to a lucky guy with an umbrella, who didn't offer to share
:(, and my arms were tired of holding the newspaper so I just let it sit on my head haha. Cars were driving by and people were staring at me and some laughing but I couldn't help but laugh either. I was already getting fairly wet and I have a flippin newspaper on my head. I waited for awhile and then the weirdest, but most awesome, thing happened.
I could feel this tug, this urge, this slight voice say, "Hey come walk home..It'll be fuuuuun." Ha! Right. I'm wearing a white shirt, that's not gonna fly sorry. "No, you have a pink tank top under, it's all good." That's ridiculous! It's too far. "No it's not." It's too wet! "No it's not." I don't want to. "Come on." Okay, if the bus doesn't come in the count to 10 .1.2.3.4.5.6.7...10...Okay, fine.
I couldn't stop laughing and I looked over at the umbrella dude just to see him looking at me ridiculously and laughing at me. I turned, took the newspaper off my head, and crossed the street in the pouring rain feeling the most ridiculous I've felt in such a long time. I smiled at people as I walked by and I was all the while wondering why in the world I was walking in this rain with my bookbag and dressed in normal clothes.
Quickly after I started walking I could tell exactly why this was the best decision I've made in a long time. God wanted me to come play. I tiptoed around puddles just to be splashed by one. So, I started jumping in them and laughing. I felt like such a kid and I had such amazing childlike joy. It was as if God was saying, "I've been waiting for this time to spend with you. You told me you felt so dirty the other night, let me clean you :)"
Whoever said getting clean isn't a dirty job lied. I had grass and woodchips all over my feet and ankles, I was literally dripping with water, and every person that saw me couldn't stop staring at me wondering why I was so happy to walk in this horrible weather.
God bring on the rain. Give me more! Make it POUR!! I wanted to challenge Him to see if He would do it. I was teasing Him and I truly truly TRULY knew He was walking right along side me playing in the rain with me. Oh it was AMAZING!!! I lost sight of any sort of embarrasment I started out with and I couldn't stop smiling and laughing. This is where I needed to be all along.
Near the end of my wet and wild trip, I came up to two older women crossing guards at Hillside and Henderson. I stood in the rain at that intersection in the pouring rain and had to wait for the light to change for like 5 minutes. I finally started crossing the intersection when the old lady crossing guard said, "It's a good day for ducks!" and smiled. I looked at her really confused and said, "Uh, what?" "It's a good day for ducks!!" I said, "Yes, it is!" and kept walking.
I maybe took three steps and started laughing hysterically, haha. What a marvelous day that I've been able to spend with my Savior, my Redeemer, my Husband, my Papa :)
When I got home, I checked the mail and I had an awesome and encouraging card from my dearest Lynshay. Inside was the best thing that made me laugh even harder...a colored picture of a little globe with every kind of weather around it--including rain :)
Come Out, Come Out Wherever You Are...
Recently, I've realized, or at least been saying more frequently, that I haven't been acting myself. I've been getting overly angry about usually meaningless situations, I've recently started getting the unusually strong urge to pick up smoking again, and thoughts and actions from my old life seem to be making a comeback...out of nowhere. Things that I haven't thought of doing, wanted to do, or dreamed of doing ever again from before I became a Christian are now coming back to haunt me and coming back to tempt me like never before. Of course, this left me on the back porch last night in tears wondering why.
Why now? Why so strong? Why ever again?
One thought, before last night, that seemed to make complete and scarily enough, the only sense, was that I was in fact becoming more of myself. The last few weeks have been well, not that great between God and me, you see. Not that I'm mad or that God is just shunning me, but because of my own apathy and desire to be too busy for Him. I've really dropped the bar in spending any sort of time with Him or having anything to do with His Word or His community. I missed Bible study last week, Cru, church, and can't remember a time I prayed--even for my food.
I realized that I was becoming more of myself because I was becoming less like Christ. I allowed myself to drift farther and farther from where He wanted me to be and who He wanted me to be. As a result, I started to see just how dirty and just how hopeless I am without Him. God allowed me to see who I am without Him. This broken soul with troubled addictions that caused me to spiral out of control at one time were showing their disgusting little face again and it scared the crap out of me! Who was this person?
Me.
I don't remember a time when I felt more ashamed, more dirty, more disgusted. Words that poured out to God were, "Why would you EVER call me your masterpiece?! Look at me!" I have had experiences when I've been aware of my human nature or my sin before, but never quite like this. It was almost as if I was a different person than who I've known for the past 8 or so years...whoa.
It's hard to describe the depth of this backtracking but I have to say, I've probably never been more thankful to God for saving my very soul from where I was 8 years ago. I sat anxious, wide-eyed, and jittery on that porch in deep sobs because of a mere glimpse of who I could be today without God and it was the most horrific sight of my life.
The only reason I was able to withstand those temptations without giving in was purely the power of Christ within me. Some of those addictions that I wanted to fall back into were not ones you could just start and stop on a dime--I was addicted. I wouldn't have been able to stop, at least not very easily. I almost gave in several times, and in fact did with one, but God didn't want me to fall back into those habits--He just wanted me to realize the depth of what could be. Thank God too much of my old self died to be resurrected. Thank God He alone is my strength and my provider. Thank God He's holding me instead of me holding onto Him. You can never let God down because you were never holding Him up.
Why now? Why so strong? Why ever again?
One thought, before last night, that seemed to make complete and scarily enough, the only sense, was that I was in fact becoming more of myself. The last few weeks have been well, not that great between God and me, you see. Not that I'm mad or that God is just shunning me, but because of my own apathy and desire to be too busy for Him. I've really dropped the bar in spending any sort of time with Him or having anything to do with His Word or His community. I missed Bible study last week, Cru, church, and can't remember a time I prayed--even for my food.
I realized that I was becoming more of myself because I was becoming less like Christ. I allowed myself to drift farther and farther from where He wanted me to be and who He wanted me to be. As a result, I started to see just how dirty and just how hopeless I am without Him. God allowed me to see who I am without Him. This broken soul with troubled addictions that caused me to spiral out of control at one time were showing their disgusting little face again and it scared the crap out of me! Who was this person?
Me.
I don't remember a time when I felt more ashamed, more dirty, more disgusted. Words that poured out to God were, "Why would you EVER call me your masterpiece?! Look at me!" I have had experiences when I've been aware of my human nature or my sin before, but never quite like this. It was almost as if I was a different person than who I've known for the past 8 or so years...whoa.
It's hard to describe the depth of this backtracking but I have to say, I've probably never been more thankful to God for saving my very soul from where I was 8 years ago. I sat anxious, wide-eyed, and jittery on that porch in deep sobs because of a mere glimpse of who I could be today without God and it was the most horrific sight of my life.
The only reason I was able to withstand those temptations without giving in was purely the power of Christ within me. Some of those addictions that I wanted to fall back into were not ones you could just start and stop on a dime--I was addicted. I wouldn't have been able to stop, at least not very easily. I almost gave in several times, and in fact did with one, but God didn't want me to fall back into those habits--He just wanted me to realize the depth of what could be. Thank God too much of my old self died to be resurrected. Thank God He alone is my strength and my provider. Thank God He's holding me instead of me holding onto Him. You can never let God down because you were never holding Him up.
September 02, 2009
Watching the Invisible Enemy
This past week and a half I've noticed how good Satan truly is...now before you bash me or wish me to hell, I mean how good at his job he truly is. Satan's BIGGEST claim to fame and his BIGGEST success is staying invisible. He lurks in the secrets of your heart, the darkness of the unknown, but yet he lurches out at us without us even having a clue that he's the one attacking.
WHY?!
Well, Satan is the master of deception, the king of lies, the losers of losers, blah blah blah. He is awesome and most capable of staying hidden while being the instigator because that's when he's most potent--the invisible enemy is always lethal. Think about playing your favorite sport or game. Take chess for example. How in the world do you have a shot at winning chess? You anticipate your opponent's next move and you definitely pay attention to his previous ones. If you can't see who you're up against, no better yet, if you FORGET that you're up against someone but yet they're still playing well and hard, you are most definitely going to lose. Fail. Vamoose.
Yesterday, I got a text from someone who was pretty concerned about my brother. This person said that he didn't seem to be doing well at all and that she was concerned for him...crap. I just got out of my last class for the day and just decided to walk the 2 miles home. Anyways, as I decided to walk, I started to just wonder. Wonder why if my brother made that decision to follow Christ just a little over a month ago now, why in the world he would be worse than before. I wasn't necessarily angry--at God anyways--and I wasn't all that sad, I was more at a loss of words and an almost lost sense of hope. I didn't even know what to say or pray to God because I've prayed it all exhaustively before and quite honestly I didn't think it was working...
As I was wrestling through this trying to figure out what in the world I should do or what should happen, etc. I saw it. I had my head down looking at the ground in front of me as I walked and the first thing I saw was, "Do you believe in God?" then 3 cement slabs later, "You can be GOOD without GOD!" I kept walking and literally every other cement slabs for the next 2 minutes alternated these sayings. They were advertisements for the IU Student Atheist group. With each one I was getting ever so angry to the point where I had tears streaming down my face--BAM! It hit me, Satan was attacking me at my very core. He wanted to slap me in the face and I have never been so aware of his attack against my soul than at this very moment.
The next thing I did was the best thing, in my opinion, I could've possibly done. I stopped trying to talk to God about why things weren't getting better for my brother and I started fighting for my brother against Satan--obviously talking to God is always best, but in this case I needed another plan of attack in addition. It was almost like a prayer to Satan but for him to leave well enough alone and to realize that he has been defeated FOREVER. As I did this I started to feel the burden lifted and I kept reminding Satan of how much of a coward he is that he has to fight while hidden, that he already lost my brother's soul so now out of a bitter 2-year old's temper-tantrum he's taking it out on my brother with everything he has. I felt this power well up inside me and I yelled at Satan with everything I had (all this going on while walking home mind you). I told him how pitiful he is that he was not only stripped of his glory when he was thrown out of Heaven, but he had also already lost the biggest fight of his life--this world.
You see, Satan has and will bring down churches and God's people not because they're "bad" people but because he's mad as hell (I was going for the pun ;) and he will do EVERYTHING in his power to drag them down with him. He's already lost the war but we CANNOT let him win these battles. Take Satan down with all you have and not only should you plead with God but you should also fight Satan to the very core. There's two sides to this war, let's not forget our enemy.
With that said, I have one challenge for thought for you and I would LOVE your feedback to the answer:
Is it important for us to forgive Satan just as we would any other person who has wronged us?
WHY?!
Well, Satan is the master of deception, the king of lies, the losers of losers, blah blah blah. He is awesome and most capable of staying hidden while being the instigator because that's when he's most potent--the invisible enemy is always lethal. Think about playing your favorite sport or game. Take chess for example. How in the world do you have a shot at winning chess? You anticipate your opponent's next move and you definitely pay attention to his previous ones. If you can't see who you're up against, no better yet, if you FORGET that you're up against someone but yet they're still playing well and hard, you are most definitely going to lose. Fail. Vamoose.
Yesterday, I got a text from someone who was pretty concerned about my brother. This person said that he didn't seem to be doing well at all and that she was concerned for him...crap. I just got out of my last class for the day and just decided to walk the 2 miles home. Anyways, as I decided to walk, I started to just wonder. Wonder why if my brother made that decision to follow Christ just a little over a month ago now, why in the world he would be worse than before. I wasn't necessarily angry--at God anyways--and I wasn't all that sad, I was more at a loss of words and an almost lost sense of hope. I didn't even know what to say or pray to God because I've prayed it all exhaustively before and quite honestly I didn't think it was working...
As I was wrestling through this trying to figure out what in the world I should do or what should happen, etc. I saw it. I had my head down looking at the ground in front of me as I walked and the first thing I saw was, "Do you believe in God?" then 3 cement slabs later, "You can be GOOD without GOD!" I kept walking and literally every other cement slabs for the next 2 minutes alternated these sayings. They were advertisements for the IU Student Atheist group. With each one I was getting ever so angry to the point where I had tears streaming down my face--BAM! It hit me, Satan was attacking me at my very core. He wanted to slap me in the face and I have never been so aware of his attack against my soul than at this very moment.
The next thing I did was the best thing, in my opinion, I could've possibly done. I stopped trying to talk to God about why things weren't getting better for my brother and I started fighting for my brother against Satan--obviously talking to God is always best, but in this case I needed another plan of attack in addition. It was almost like a prayer to Satan but for him to leave well enough alone and to realize that he has been defeated FOREVER. As I did this I started to feel the burden lifted and I kept reminding Satan of how much of a coward he is that he has to fight while hidden, that he already lost my brother's soul so now out of a bitter 2-year old's temper-tantrum he's taking it out on my brother with everything he has. I felt this power well up inside me and I yelled at Satan with everything I had (all this going on while walking home mind you). I told him how pitiful he is that he was not only stripped of his glory when he was thrown out of Heaven, but he had also already lost the biggest fight of his life--this world.
You see, Satan has and will bring down churches and God's people not because they're "bad" people but because he's mad as hell (I was going for the pun ;) and he will do EVERYTHING in his power to drag them down with him. He's already lost the war but we CANNOT let him win these battles. Take Satan down with all you have and not only should you plead with God but you should also fight Satan to the very core. There's two sides to this war, let's not forget our enemy.
With that said, I have one challenge for thought for you and I would LOVE your feedback to the answer:
Is it important for us to forgive Satan just as we would any other person who has wronged us?
August 13, 2009
Terminating the Veil
So, since I'm jobless (not by choice) and have no life going on right now, I watch a lot of TV :). Last weekend, I think it was Saturday night--remember, no life right now--I was watching the Terminator II. I thought it was pretty cool, you know, seeing Arnold in action again. Well, I didn't think much of it until Sunday when I was at church.
I went to this different church than I normally do to try it out and to see if I wanted to be a regular attender. It was okay, but one thing that really struck me was during the sermon when the pastor was talking about how he became a Christian.
Now, if you're reading this you may not know the exact definition of a Christian the way it's meant to be lived--it often gets lost in this jumbledness of the world. A Christian is a person looking to Christ as his or her personal savior and dedicating one's life to following God in his or her life. A Christian is not a person who's parents were Baptist, Methodist, Catholic, etc. A Christian is not a person who attends church on Sundays, even Bible studies on Wednesdays, or even church functions any other day. Christ defines the Christian--not the person.
Anyways, the pastor was talking about the veil that covers our eyes--the one that separates us from knowing God and Christ for who They are and for what They've done. He was talking about how Satan is the one who holds this veil over eyes until enough is done that this veil is tore down and everything suddenly, makes sense. Well, I thought that was interesting and then all of a sudden, the Terminator starts playing in my mind--awesome. haha
What was kind of interesting was the way God was helping me to visualize this idea. The movie has this cyborg dude who is made of some type of pretty awesome liquid metal/mercury type deal that makes him unstoppable. When you shoot the dude, homeboy just morphs back into his little human front while barely even slowing down. He just keeps coming back--it almost seems impossible to stop him!
Well, at the end of the movie, good ol' Arnie has this huge shotgun that he's using to blast this dude. Every time he shoots him, the guy stumbles back just a little bit at a time and his human-like appearance is shattered more and more. But here's the thing, there is a huge cauldron of molten metal at the edge of this platform that the cyborg is inching towards each time he's shot. Right when he's getting ready to go over the edge, one more shot would obviously do it, Arnie runs out of ammo. Ah shoot! The mom, kid, and Arnie thought they were defeated until someone (I honestly can't remember who) pulls out a gun and shoots the dude to make him plunge to his ultimate demise. Game over. He doesn't come crawling back on this one. He's dead. Defeated. Gone.
This is EXACTLY how it is when we share the love of Christ with strangers, family members, friends, co-workers, whomever. We keep shooting at the veil, that cover that shields their eyes from knowing Christ for who He truly is. We get to a point where we feel defeated because it seems like it's impenetrable, an unstoppable force that we just cannot seem to kill once and for all. It is a process, it is something that we have to keep shooting at, keep speaking truth into that veil to make it burn until it is no more. I tell you, it is not impossible. It is not unstoppable. It is not impenetrable. Don't give up hope, don't lose sight, and for the love of God never stop sharing the best thing that ever happened to you!
I went to this different church than I normally do to try it out and to see if I wanted to be a regular attender. It was okay, but one thing that really struck me was during the sermon when the pastor was talking about how he became a Christian.
Now, if you're reading this you may not know the exact definition of a Christian the way it's meant to be lived--it often gets lost in this jumbledness of the world. A Christian is a person looking to Christ as his or her personal savior and dedicating one's life to following God in his or her life. A Christian is not a person who's parents were Baptist, Methodist, Catholic, etc. A Christian is not a person who attends church on Sundays, even Bible studies on Wednesdays, or even church functions any other day. Christ defines the Christian--not the person.
Anyways, the pastor was talking about the veil that covers our eyes--the one that separates us from knowing God and Christ for who They are and for what They've done. He was talking about how Satan is the one who holds this veil over eyes until enough is done that this veil is tore down and everything suddenly, makes sense. Well, I thought that was interesting and then all of a sudden, the Terminator starts playing in my mind--awesome. haha
What was kind of interesting was the way God was helping me to visualize this idea. The movie has this cyborg dude who is made of some type of pretty awesome liquid metal/mercury type deal that makes him unstoppable. When you shoot the dude, homeboy just morphs back into his little human front while barely even slowing down. He just keeps coming back--it almost seems impossible to stop him!
Well, at the end of the movie, good ol' Arnie has this huge shotgun that he's using to blast this dude. Every time he shoots him, the guy stumbles back just a little bit at a time and his human-like appearance is shattered more and more. But here's the thing, there is a huge cauldron of molten metal at the edge of this platform that the cyborg is inching towards each time he's shot. Right when he's getting ready to go over the edge, one more shot would obviously do it, Arnie runs out of ammo. Ah shoot! The mom, kid, and Arnie thought they were defeated until someone (I honestly can't remember who) pulls out a gun and shoots the dude to make him plunge to his ultimate demise. Game over. He doesn't come crawling back on this one. He's dead. Defeated. Gone.
This is EXACTLY how it is when we share the love of Christ with strangers, family members, friends, co-workers, whomever. We keep shooting at the veil, that cover that shields their eyes from knowing Christ for who He truly is. We get to a point where we feel defeated because it seems like it's impenetrable, an unstoppable force that we just cannot seem to kill once and for all. It is a process, it is something that we have to keep shooting at, keep speaking truth into that veil to make it burn until it is no more. I tell you, it is not impossible. It is not unstoppable. It is not impenetrable. Don't give up hope, don't lose sight, and for the love of God never stop sharing the best thing that ever happened to you!
August 07, 2009
The Invisible Universe
So, being the nerd that I am, I spent a couple hours the other night watching a show on the History channel about the universe. I was so amazed, haha!
I couldn’t help but be in awe of how absolutely STUNNING all of existence is! The placement that we have in our galaxy is so that we are far enough from the center that we aren’t much affected by the enormous gravitational field of the black hole that lives there, but we are so close to the edge that we are able to see so many of the other galaxies out there. We are in an amazing place for survival and for discovery.
I couldn’t help but laugh when one of the scientists even said that most all of our universe is invisible. That’s nuts! Only 20% of the universe is made up of planets, stars, asteroids, and whatever else we see—80% is made up of “invisible” or “black” matter. Most of this matter is so small that we cannot even see it with the finest microscopes—-some smaller than atoms! We are completely surrounded not only by gases from our atmosphere and other dust, but we’re also surrounded by subatomic particles and even possible mini black holes from our own universe and even other universes thousands of light years away. That’s part of what they’re trying to find by use of the Large Hadron Collider (the particle accelerator) in Switzerland.
I also had to laugh when they talked about how weird so many things were. Things that occurred without real rhyme or reason but just because it could, I suppose. For example, there is an asteroid called Toutatis that orbits in the asteroid belt and it doesn’t rotate around any of its major axes, it just tumbles. There’s no reason why the asteroid should randomly tumble rather than rotate around one or both of its axes, but it does and it has a huge impact on our very galaxy and even our planet. It’s the asteroid that came 100,000 miles from hitting the earth in 2004 because it has a more elliptical orbit that puts it in an orbital path that intersects that of earth.
This is just a scratch at the surface of what goes on all around us! So many times people don’t want to believe in God because He is not visible to us here on earth…more than the majority of our very makeup in the sense of our universe is not visible to us! We see the results of these particles and gases and phenomena to realize that they do in fact exist, do we not? When was the last time you saw wind? Nope. You saw those leaves move because the wind caused them to move; you didn’t see it. When was the last time you saw air? Consciousness? Gravity? Your mind? Now ask yourself, when was the last time you saw God?
We see through our experiences, through our experiments even. We see the effects and for us that has to be good enough because our eyes are just not equipped to see 80% of our universe and better yet, a perfect God. We trust the unseen out of faith everyday, that's no excuse to not trust God.
I couldn’t help but be in awe of how absolutely STUNNING all of existence is! The placement that we have in our galaxy is so that we are far enough from the center that we aren’t much affected by the enormous gravitational field of the black hole that lives there, but we are so close to the edge that we are able to see so many of the other galaxies out there. We are in an amazing place for survival and for discovery.
I couldn’t help but laugh when one of the scientists even said that most all of our universe is invisible. That’s nuts! Only 20% of the universe is made up of planets, stars, asteroids, and whatever else we see—80% is made up of “invisible” or “black” matter. Most of this matter is so small that we cannot even see it with the finest microscopes—-some smaller than atoms! We are completely surrounded not only by gases from our atmosphere and other dust, but we’re also surrounded by subatomic particles and even possible mini black holes from our own universe and even other universes thousands of light years away. That’s part of what they’re trying to find by use of the Large Hadron Collider (the particle accelerator) in Switzerland.
I also had to laugh when they talked about how weird so many things were. Things that occurred without real rhyme or reason but just because it could, I suppose. For example, there is an asteroid called Toutatis that orbits in the asteroid belt and it doesn’t rotate around any of its major axes, it just tumbles. There’s no reason why the asteroid should randomly tumble rather than rotate around one or both of its axes, but it does and it has a huge impact on our very galaxy and even our planet. It’s the asteroid that came 100,000 miles from hitting the earth in 2004 because it has a more elliptical orbit that puts it in an orbital path that intersects that of earth.
This is just a scratch at the surface of what goes on all around us! So many times people don’t want to believe in God because He is not visible to us here on earth…more than the majority of our very makeup in the sense of our universe is not visible to us! We see the results of these particles and gases and phenomena to realize that they do in fact exist, do we not? When was the last time you saw wind? Nope. You saw those leaves move because the wind caused them to move; you didn’t see it. When was the last time you saw air? Consciousness? Gravity? Your mind? Now ask yourself, when was the last time you saw God?
We see through our experiences, through our experiments even. We see the effects and for us that has to be good enough because our eyes are just not equipped to see 80% of our universe and better yet, a perfect God. We trust the unseen out of faith everyday, that's no excuse to not trust God.
July 31, 2009
The Enemy Has Been Defeated...We Lift Our Voice in Victory!
Some of you know the hardship that my oldest brother has had to face and how hard it has been for him to have to go through that. Recently, my family and I realized that we needed to do more for him because he needed it desperately.
I know that I've been praying for him hardcore to get to know Christ and the hope He brings. I started to realize that all of this that my brother was going through was for God to simply bring him to his knees and help him realize that he can't rely on himself...only God has control and only God can bring him through this. Unfortunately, as these tragedies kept coming his way, he only seemed to be driving farther from God--I even thought for good reason. It was hard to sit by and watch all of this inflicted on my big brother who has always protected me.
Well, after our family realized that more needed to be done Wednesday morning, we all gathered at his side. My other brother, mom, dad, and me went to his house Wednesday evening just to be with him, comfort him, and love him.
Sitting down across from me in an empty room he told me that he felt like Job in the Bible. This made me laugh a little, on the inside, because when I was on my way home from Bloomington I knew that I wanted to talk to him about Job and his life. Shortly after that thought, my sister told me that I should read him Job 5 and she never even read the book! Okay God, you're working here, I see it.
Well, he went on to tell me that he didn't finish Job...I smiled and I told him that the end is where we find hope. God revealed to Job that He was testing him and that he was trying to get Job to realize that God alone is who he should depend on--not himself. After a conversation with Job, God gave Job EVERYTHING that He had taken from him and even doubled it. In the second part of Job's life, God blessed him so much greater than the first part.
My brother had tears in his eyes and I continued to share with why God is likely doing this same thing with him. He wanted him to come to God with 100% of his life. I went over and I cried with my brother...yeah, we cried a lot. My other brother came in, who is the reason why I'm even a Christian today, and told him, "She's telling you the truth man." The three of us sat there and we cried hard, my mom walked in from the other room and cried too.
My other brother and I continued to share our experiences and why we knew God was the answer. Becoming a Christian won't take these situations away, but man oh man does God give you hope like never before in those situations! To be honest, I can't remember much of what even came out of my mouth that night...they had to of been God's words, not mine (thankfully).
At one point, my brother even grabbed me in a huge bear hug where we just wept in each others arms.
He told us that he wanted to change, that he didn't want to do it on his own anymore. He wanted God to be the center of his life. WOW!!!
We prayed with him, for him, and helped him to accept Christ into his life and to take his burdens on His shoulders. My brother told us that he felt like a huge weight was lifted off of his shoulders already. Ha, oh yes!
It was probably the best night of my life to witness that, be a part of that, and to finally have the six of us in our family back together again--just each other (once my sister came after she got off work). We ate a very late dinner together, reminisced, and laughed like we were a true family. It will be forever ingrained in my memory, THANK GOD!
I couldn't stop smiling, laughing, thanking, and praising God ever since and I hope I never do. My God is a God of miracles, love, grace, and power.
Don't give up, don't quit, and never EVER think God can't move an entire mountain range...or even that pebble. God is love, AMEN!
I know that I've been praying for him hardcore to get to know Christ and the hope He brings. I started to realize that all of this that my brother was going through was for God to simply bring him to his knees and help him realize that he can't rely on himself...only God has control and only God can bring him through this. Unfortunately, as these tragedies kept coming his way, he only seemed to be driving farther from God--I even thought for good reason. It was hard to sit by and watch all of this inflicted on my big brother who has always protected me.
Well, after our family realized that more needed to be done Wednesday morning, we all gathered at his side. My other brother, mom, dad, and me went to his house Wednesday evening just to be with him, comfort him, and love him.
Sitting down across from me in an empty room he told me that he felt like Job in the Bible. This made me laugh a little, on the inside, because when I was on my way home from Bloomington I knew that I wanted to talk to him about Job and his life. Shortly after that thought, my sister told me that I should read him Job 5 and she never even read the book! Okay God, you're working here, I see it.
Well, he went on to tell me that he didn't finish Job...I smiled and I told him that the end is where we find hope. God revealed to Job that He was testing him and that he was trying to get Job to realize that God alone is who he should depend on--not himself. After a conversation with Job, God gave Job EVERYTHING that He had taken from him and even doubled it. In the second part of Job's life, God blessed him so much greater than the first part.
My brother had tears in his eyes and I continued to share with why God is likely doing this same thing with him. He wanted him to come to God with 100% of his life. I went over and I cried with my brother...yeah, we cried a lot. My other brother came in, who is the reason why I'm even a Christian today, and told him, "She's telling you the truth man." The three of us sat there and we cried hard, my mom walked in from the other room and cried too.
My other brother and I continued to share our experiences and why we knew God was the answer. Becoming a Christian won't take these situations away, but man oh man does God give you hope like never before in those situations! To be honest, I can't remember much of what even came out of my mouth that night...they had to of been God's words, not mine (thankfully).
At one point, my brother even grabbed me in a huge bear hug where we just wept in each others arms.
He told us that he wanted to change, that he didn't want to do it on his own anymore. He wanted God to be the center of his life. WOW!!!
We prayed with him, for him, and helped him to accept Christ into his life and to take his burdens on His shoulders. My brother told us that he felt like a huge weight was lifted off of his shoulders already. Ha, oh yes!
It was probably the best night of my life to witness that, be a part of that, and to finally have the six of us in our family back together again--just each other (once my sister came after she got off work). We ate a very late dinner together, reminisced, and laughed like we were a true family. It will be forever ingrained in my memory, THANK GOD!
I couldn't stop smiling, laughing, thanking, and praising God ever since and I hope I never do. My God is a God of miracles, love, grace, and power.
Don't give up, don't quit, and never EVER think God can't move an entire mountain range...or even that pebble. God is love, AMEN!
July 23, 2009
The Low Down on Women
Women, this is exactly who you are...read it with that mindset. Men, this is exactly who we as women are...please help us to remember that ;)
"You are a woman. An image bearer of God. The Crown of Creation. You were chosen before time and space, and you are the passionate desire of your Fiance, Jesus. You are dangerous in your beauty and your life-giving power. And you are needed.
As a woman who has been ransomed and redeemed, you can be strong and tender. You speak to the world of God's mercy, mystery, beauty, and his desire for intimate relationship. You are inviting; you can risk being vulnerable, offering the weight of your life as well as your need for more because you are safe in God's love. You labor with God to bring forth life--in creativity, in work, in others. Your aching, awakened heart leads you to the feet of Jesus, where you wait on him and wait for him. The eyes of his heart are ever upon you. The King is captivated by your beauty.
We need you. We need you to awaken to God more fully and to awaken to the desires of the heart that he placed within you so that you will come alive to him and to the role that is yours to play. Perhaps you are meant to be a concert musician or a teacher. Perhaps you are meant to be a neruologist or a horse trainer. Perhaps you are to be an activist for ecology or the poor or the aged or the ill. You are certainly called to be a woman, wherever else he leads you.
And that is crucial, dear heart. Whatever your particular calling, you are meant to grace the world with your dance, to follow the lead of Jesus wherever he leads you. He will lead you first into himself; and then, with him, he will lead you into the world that he loves and needs you to love. It is by invitation...
Jesus is extending his hand to you. He is inviting you to dance with him. He asks, 'May I have this dance...every day of your life?' His gaze fixed on you. He is captivated by your beauty. He is smiling. He cares nothing of the opinion of others. He is standing. He will lead. He waits for your response."
--An excerpt from Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge
Ps. A must-read for all women and men who want to understand women :)
"You are a woman. An image bearer of God. The Crown of Creation. You were chosen before time and space, and you are the passionate desire of your Fiance, Jesus. You are dangerous in your beauty and your life-giving power. And you are needed.
As a woman who has been ransomed and redeemed, you can be strong and tender. You speak to the world of God's mercy, mystery, beauty, and his desire for intimate relationship. You are inviting; you can risk being vulnerable, offering the weight of your life as well as your need for more because you are safe in God's love. You labor with God to bring forth life--in creativity, in work, in others. Your aching, awakened heart leads you to the feet of Jesus, where you wait on him and wait for him. The eyes of his heart are ever upon you. The King is captivated by your beauty.
We need you. We need you to awaken to God more fully and to awaken to the desires of the heart that he placed within you so that you will come alive to him and to the role that is yours to play. Perhaps you are meant to be a concert musician or a teacher. Perhaps you are meant to be a neruologist or a horse trainer. Perhaps you are to be an activist for ecology or the poor or the aged or the ill. You are certainly called to be a woman, wherever else he leads you.
And that is crucial, dear heart. Whatever your particular calling, you are meant to grace the world with your dance, to follow the lead of Jesus wherever he leads you. He will lead you first into himself; and then, with him, he will lead you into the world that he loves and needs you to love. It is by invitation...
Jesus is extending his hand to you. He is inviting you to dance with him. He asks, 'May I have this dance...every day of your life?' His gaze fixed on you. He is captivated by your beauty. He is smiling. He cares nothing of the opinion of others. He is standing. He will lead. He waits for your response."
--An excerpt from Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge
Ps. A must-read for all women and men who want to understand women :)
July 10, 2009
Keep Bleeding in Love
I haven't blogged in a little while, obviously, and this is the first since the break up...ironically enough, I really wanted to address the idea of love...not romantic love, but love between people as people.
My BIGGEST pet peeve is when people just don't care about another person--especially Christians. I think I hold Christians to a much higher standard, which maybe isn't a good thing, but in all respect, we are representing our most holy and perfect God.
I witness, and even experience, all too much a person who does not genuinely care when talking to or is with another person and it breaks my heart. We are called to love God first and foremost but next we are called to love our brothers, our sisters, our neighbors. Of course we're going to come across those certain few that annoy, anger, whatever us...that does not give us the right to ditch or ignore that person. That only gives us the opportunity to show genuine love and genuine Christianity.
Christ does not call us into comfort, He calls us into what is right--sometimes that just happens to be uncomfortable. I can't tell you enough how rewarding and awesome an experience it was when I fought myself, bit my tongue, and reached out to understand a person who drove me nuts. This person turned out to be an amazing human being and I found that they felt such pain from people who never took the initiative to actually get to know them and who they are. Taking the time to call, text, eat dinner with this person spoke volumes that I could've never done any other way.
Joy is found in loving Christ, then other people (everyone), and then yourself. It doesn't take much out of your life to call someone you know looks up to you. It doesn't take much out of your life to invite someone to come with you to do anything, really. It means the world to that person though. I say this out of experience of someone doing this for me. When a person genuinely wants to know you for you and wants to spend any amount of his or her precious time on you, it means so much, does it not? Why not return the favor? Why not love others like Christ loved others since we claim to want to be like Him?
Matthew 5:43-48 reminds us of Jesus' words when He says:
You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that. But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect. (NLT)
We all yearn for someone to reach out to us, someone to care, someone to genuinely and truly love us. There is no other greater thing we can do as Christians than to love. It is one of the best evangelism methods out there, to show that we represent a God who truly does love and desires a relationship. Please, let us just love without apology and love without fear.
We as a family are failing in this area. We tell a person that they can call at anytime for anything at all but then we don't deliver. We value our sleep too much or, we're too wrapped up in conversation, or...you know your excuse. I'm guilty of it all too much and it kills me. I want to listen and empathize, I want to speak truth when needed, I want to sit and weep with a wounded soul. Christ was never too busy to sit down and talk to even a peasant...that's huge! This man of honor, of amazing poise takes time out of His life for everyone who desires it...everyone who needs it. He loved like whoa. We should too. I do love you and I'd love to hear from you ;)
My BIGGEST pet peeve is when people just don't care about another person--especially Christians. I think I hold Christians to a much higher standard, which maybe isn't a good thing, but in all respect, we are representing our most holy and perfect God.
I witness, and even experience, all too much a person who does not genuinely care when talking to or is with another person and it breaks my heart. We are called to love God first and foremost but next we are called to love our brothers, our sisters, our neighbors. Of course we're going to come across those certain few that annoy, anger, whatever us...that does not give us the right to ditch or ignore that person. That only gives us the opportunity to show genuine love and genuine Christianity.
Christ does not call us into comfort, He calls us into what is right--sometimes that just happens to be uncomfortable. I can't tell you enough how rewarding and awesome an experience it was when I fought myself, bit my tongue, and reached out to understand a person who drove me nuts. This person turned out to be an amazing human being and I found that they felt such pain from people who never took the initiative to actually get to know them and who they are. Taking the time to call, text, eat dinner with this person spoke volumes that I could've never done any other way.
Joy is found in loving Christ, then other people (everyone), and then yourself. It doesn't take much out of your life to call someone you know looks up to you. It doesn't take much out of your life to invite someone to come with you to do anything, really. It means the world to that person though. I say this out of experience of someone doing this for me. When a person genuinely wants to know you for you and wants to spend any amount of his or her precious time on you, it means so much, does it not? Why not return the favor? Why not love others like Christ loved others since we claim to want to be like Him?
Matthew 5:43-48 reminds us of Jesus' words when He says:
You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that. But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect. (NLT)
We all yearn for someone to reach out to us, someone to care, someone to genuinely and truly love us. There is no other greater thing we can do as Christians than to love. It is one of the best evangelism methods out there, to show that we represent a God who truly does love and desires a relationship. Please, let us just love without apology and love without fear.
We as a family are failing in this area. We tell a person that they can call at anytime for anything at all but then we don't deliver. We value our sleep too much or, we're too wrapped up in conversation, or...you know your excuse. I'm guilty of it all too much and it kills me. I want to listen and empathize, I want to speak truth when needed, I want to sit and weep with a wounded soul. Christ was never too busy to sit down and talk to even a peasant...that's huge! This man of honor, of amazing poise takes time out of His life for everyone who desires it...everyone who needs it. He loved like whoa. We should too. I do love you and I'd love to hear from you ;)
June 21, 2009
Accounting for Humanity
Yesterday I went running (I know I was surprised too, it's been a little while) and I really enjoyed the time I had to just think and experience the beautiful sunset. One thing that really caught my attention was our relationship with an infinite, perfect God and sin.
God isn't a God of rules and regulations and things you have to follow, He's a God of love and power and grace. There are certain things He tells us He wants us to do for ourselves because He knows the pain and heartache that goes along with so many things we can do. Obvously, just like a small child whose parent tells it not to put that dirty toy in its mouth, we disobey because we want to experience it for ourselves. We don't want to be told what to do even if it's probably best for us, why? Why not?
This wasn't what hit me at that moment, it's not that intense right, what hit me like whoa was this verse mixed with the following thought, "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body" (1 Corinthians 6:18). One translation even says to "Run from sexual sin!" This is what the Bible is saying about sexual immorality right? ...But think about it in context of all sin. Now Scripture is saying especially with sexual sin because it is within the body and it takes on a whole new meaning because of it...however, I don't think it's right to only flee sin in the context of sexuality. After all, there are particular verses that address all sin as well: "But you, Timothy, are a man of God; so run from all these evil things. Pursue righteousness and a godly life, along with faith, love, perseverance, and gentleness"(1 Timothy 6:11), 1 Corinthians 10:13, etc.
People choose different physical boundaries within their relationship depending on their values, desires, needs, etc. Some people are less strict and some people more. One thing that came to mind as I was getting tired running, were the people who choose not to kiss until they're married or at least for a long time within the relationship...whoa, weird. Ha, that's funny that I say that considering I'm one of those people...of course I never ever thought I would be.
A lot of people ask why that's such a big deal to me or why that's even a reasonable option and that's what I was thinking about yesterday. See, I want to make sure that what I do isn't just for the sake of doing it to test myself (like deciding not to kiss until marriage), I want to do it in order to truly develop more into a woman of God that He created me to be. As I was thinking of the pros and cons of it, it hit me--this type of "extended" boundary helps to account for my own humanity. See, we as humans always "go too far." But what exactly does that mean? What does it have to mean? Really, you can only "go too far" by crossing that line of your the boundaries that you set for yourself because those are important to you. A person may make it their rule to not have sex and they may "go too far" without going all the way because they got a little too close. If a person accounts for this and makes a rule to not kiss, for example, even if they "go too far" it hasn't necessarily gotten to the point where they got a little too close to having sex.
Now I know, this may be a little strange to think about, but truly think about it. Now I'm not saying this was my train of thought in deciding this for now, because it kind of just happened by accident, but it really made me think. This doesn't only have to apply to physical boundaries within relationships either...remember, there's other sin out there ;)
See, what if instead of making it our priority to not do the sin that God says isn't good in the Bible, what if we took the initiative to take the next step and to not even get close. We don't want to test the waters and see how far we can push the envelope with God like we did with our parents when we were 3. Why not, instead of getting as close to the line without crossing it, do more to stay so far away from it that we can't even see it? Why not flee from sin or run away from sin instead of flirting with it? Why not account for our humanity and make sure we're serving God full heartedly instead of serving ourselves in the process?
Now I'm not saying you have to make it a rule in your relationship to not kiss or whatever or whatever. Not my job to say that. I'm saying, you know yourself better than you let on and you know when you're probably sinning without "going all the way" (that doesn't just apply to sexual immorality now). How could you change yourself for the better just by not even getting close? Think about it.
God isn't a God of rules and regulations and things you have to follow, He's a God of love and power and grace. There are certain things He tells us He wants us to do for ourselves because He knows the pain and heartache that goes along with so many things we can do. Obvously, just like a small child whose parent tells it not to put that dirty toy in its mouth, we disobey because we want to experience it for ourselves. We don't want to be told what to do even if it's probably best for us, why? Why not?
This wasn't what hit me at that moment, it's not that intense right, what hit me like whoa was this verse mixed with the following thought, "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body" (1 Corinthians 6:18). One translation even says to "Run from sexual sin!" This is what the Bible is saying about sexual immorality right? ...But think about it in context of all sin. Now Scripture is saying especially with sexual sin because it is within the body and it takes on a whole new meaning because of it...however, I don't think it's right to only flee sin in the context of sexuality. After all, there are particular verses that address all sin as well: "But you, Timothy, are a man of God; so run from all these evil things. Pursue righteousness and a godly life, along with faith, love, perseverance, and gentleness"(1 Timothy 6:11), 1 Corinthians 10:13, etc.
People choose different physical boundaries within their relationship depending on their values, desires, needs, etc. Some people are less strict and some people more. One thing that came to mind as I was getting tired running, were the people who choose not to kiss until they're married or at least for a long time within the relationship...whoa, weird. Ha, that's funny that I say that considering I'm one of those people...of course I never ever thought I would be.
A lot of people ask why that's such a big deal to me or why that's even a reasonable option and that's what I was thinking about yesterday. See, I want to make sure that what I do isn't just for the sake of doing it to test myself (like deciding not to kiss until marriage), I want to do it in order to truly develop more into a woman of God that He created me to be. As I was thinking of the pros and cons of it, it hit me--this type of "extended" boundary helps to account for my own humanity. See, we as humans always "go too far." But what exactly does that mean? What does it have to mean? Really, you can only "go too far" by crossing that line of your the boundaries that you set for yourself because those are important to you. A person may make it their rule to not have sex and they may "go too far" without going all the way because they got a little too close. If a person accounts for this and makes a rule to not kiss, for example, even if they "go too far" it hasn't necessarily gotten to the point where they got a little too close to having sex.
Now I know, this may be a little strange to think about, but truly think about it. Now I'm not saying this was my train of thought in deciding this for now, because it kind of just happened by accident, but it really made me think. This doesn't only have to apply to physical boundaries within relationships either...remember, there's other sin out there ;)
See, what if instead of making it our priority to not do the sin that God says isn't good in the Bible, what if we took the initiative to take the next step and to not even get close. We don't want to test the waters and see how far we can push the envelope with God like we did with our parents when we were 3. Why not, instead of getting as close to the line without crossing it, do more to stay so far away from it that we can't even see it? Why not flee from sin or run away from sin instead of flirting with it? Why not account for our humanity and make sure we're serving God full heartedly instead of serving ourselves in the process?
Now I'm not saying you have to make it a rule in your relationship to not kiss or whatever or whatever. Not my job to say that. I'm saying, you know yourself better than you let on and you know when you're probably sinning without "going all the way" (that doesn't just apply to sexual immorality now). How could you change yourself for the better just by not even getting close? Think about it.
June 14, 2009
Trust...Is It a Must?
It's so hard to believe that a little over a year ago now I was in the second week of the best summer of my life. In fact, just a few weeks ago on June 2, I couldn't believe that a year ago that day I was on a plane from Chicago, IL to Manchester, NH to start an amazing adventure without a clue of what to expect. The fact that I'd meet the best friend I've ever had and my boyfriend along with meeting 50 other awesome, amazing people who I'm so blessed to call my friends and siblings in Christ was nowhere in my mindset heading into project. I never dreamed of having that type of experience...I never dreamed that a year later I would be traveling through the Great Plains storm chasing either! Wow, what will it be next June 2? It was a few days before that anniversary that I wrote this in my journal...something that God started to show me as I sat in a van driving through the middle of nowhere:
5/30/09
It's always been an issue for people finding it hard to believe that what is in the Bible is true. This is [mainly] because people wrote the Bible (physically). The thing is, don't people physically do every kind of reporting [there is] on this earth? Don't we trust doctors to be truthful and honest in giving us reports about what's wrong with us physically? Don't we trust psychologists to tell us what's wrong with us mentally? Why can't we, then, trust the people who have talked face-to-face with Jesus to tell us what's wrong with us spiritually? Isn't that also an important aspect of our health? Actually, since we all agree that everyone dies at some point, thus leaving us without a body and mind, wouldn't our spiritual health be most important to preserve and to make better?
My point is this, we trust people every day to share with us their expertise, experiences, knowledge, and advice. Why does that stop with spirituality? Yes, man in general is faulty and imperfect...so is this planet! Doing mathematical models and physical tests, we realize that real-world phenomena does not precisely follow the physical and mathematical principles that govern this planet. If it did, we wouldn't have to run so many experiments and have to calculate error into our findings. Just ask a physicist, a biologist, a doctor, a meteorologist, a chemist, you name it!
Is it because of our experiences with faultiness and imperfection that we can't understand a perfect God? Is this maybe why we refuse Biblical Scripture to be true, because we have an imperfect perception of a perfect God?
God came down to this earth in the form of a humble man. Why? He wanted to reach us on our level. He wanted to be like us so that He could reach us in the best way possible. When you talk to a child, do you talk to them as if they were another adult or a child?
Maybe, just maybe, God chose people to relay His amazing message in one book because He knew what He was doing. Just saying. God knows that we think in imperfect methodology because that's all we know. We've never experienced any perfect thing apart from Him and we can't even experience that without Him "dumming" it down for us. Am I saying Biblical Scripture is imperfect, heck no!
I fully do believe Biblical Scripture is the God-breathed, people-penmanship of God's exact Word. Do people who have autobiographies written normally physically write the work for themselves? No. They speak and it's written. Secretaries do this all the time. Does this mean that there will be a few mistakes in the writing the person does? Sure, sometimes. That's why the person dictating the letter, book, whatever re-reads it afterwards and edits the work.
Now think about it, if God is the One dictating this book, would He not make sure that what's in it is 100% correct? Remember, He's the only perfection ever existing!
As far as "creating" the Bible that we know today, I think the reasoning is simple as to how books were chosen and books were left out. Theologians and other experts who studied ancient texts, geography, geology, and all that knew what was in correlation with God's ways and customs and what wasn't. They're experts who studied the validity of each book in terms of credibility. Don't we normally trust experts?
Now I'm just saying that I don't think this is a valid claim to disagree with the Bible by saying it's because people wrote it. The fact that it's written by over 40 men in a span of about 1500 years in three different languages makes me believe in its credibility all the more. The fact that there are no known contradictions in the original texts and the fact that these men did not see each other's work when writing their own makes me believe in its credibility all the more. The fact that Jesus fulfilled over 360 prophesies from Scripture dating over a thousand years before his birth makes me believe in its credibility all the more. The fact that archaeological findings, well-known and trusted historians, and Josephus' writings continuously agree with the Gospels makes me believe in its credibility all the more.
You can say what you want about men writing the Bible but I challenge you to gather over 40 men from all around, 3 different languages, over 1500 years and tell them to write about their God and their experiences of Him and this so-called Messiah. Let me know what happens.
5/30/09
It's always been an issue for people finding it hard to believe that what is in the Bible is true. This is [mainly] because people wrote the Bible (physically). The thing is, don't people physically do every kind of reporting [there is] on this earth? Don't we trust doctors to be truthful and honest in giving us reports about what's wrong with us physically? Don't we trust psychologists to tell us what's wrong with us mentally? Why can't we, then, trust the people who have talked face-to-face with Jesus to tell us what's wrong with us spiritually? Isn't that also an important aspect of our health? Actually, since we all agree that everyone dies at some point, thus leaving us without a body and mind, wouldn't our spiritual health be most important to preserve and to make better?
My point is this, we trust people every day to share with us their expertise, experiences, knowledge, and advice. Why does that stop with spirituality? Yes, man in general is faulty and imperfect...so is this planet! Doing mathematical models and physical tests, we realize that real-world phenomena does not precisely follow the physical and mathematical principles that govern this planet. If it did, we wouldn't have to run so many experiments and have to calculate error into our findings. Just ask a physicist, a biologist, a doctor, a meteorologist, a chemist, you name it!
Is it because of our experiences with faultiness and imperfection that we can't understand a perfect God? Is this maybe why we refuse Biblical Scripture to be true, because we have an imperfect perception of a perfect God?
God came down to this earth in the form of a humble man. Why? He wanted to reach us on our level. He wanted to be like us so that He could reach us in the best way possible. When you talk to a child, do you talk to them as if they were another adult or a child?
Maybe, just maybe, God chose people to relay His amazing message in one book because He knew what He was doing. Just saying. God knows that we think in imperfect methodology because that's all we know. We've never experienced any perfect thing apart from Him and we can't even experience that without Him "dumming" it down for us. Am I saying Biblical Scripture is imperfect, heck no!
I fully do believe Biblical Scripture is the God-breathed, people-penmanship of God's exact Word. Do people who have autobiographies written normally physically write the work for themselves? No. They speak and it's written. Secretaries do this all the time. Does this mean that there will be a few mistakes in the writing the person does? Sure, sometimes. That's why the person dictating the letter, book, whatever re-reads it afterwards and edits the work.
Now think about it, if God is the One dictating this book, would He not make sure that what's in it is 100% correct? Remember, He's the only perfection ever existing!
As far as "creating" the Bible that we know today, I think the reasoning is simple as to how books were chosen and books were left out. Theologians and other experts who studied ancient texts, geography, geology, and all that knew what was in correlation with God's ways and customs and what wasn't. They're experts who studied the validity of each book in terms of credibility. Don't we normally trust experts?
Now I'm just saying that I don't think this is a valid claim to disagree with the Bible by saying it's because people wrote it. The fact that it's written by over 40 men in a span of about 1500 years in three different languages makes me believe in its credibility all the more. The fact that there are no known contradictions in the original texts and the fact that these men did not see each other's work when writing their own makes me believe in its credibility all the more. The fact that Jesus fulfilled over 360 prophesies from Scripture dating over a thousand years before his birth makes me believe in its credibility all the more. The fact that archaeological findings, well-known and trusted historians, and Josephus' writings continuously agree with the Gospels makes me believe in its credibility all the more.
You can say what you want about men writing the Bible but I challenge you to gather over 40 men from all around, 3 different languages, over 1500 years and tell them to write about their God and their experiences of Him and this so-called Messiah. Let me know what happens.
June 08, 2009
Day 18 of the Great Storm Chase!
Today was the last day of a long journey...Our trip only lasted 18 days but it seemed like years! Ha, it's true.
We started our day with a meeting at our hotel--not struck by a tornado last night--in Chillicothe, MO. We met to discuss the weather outlook for the day and to see if there was anything worth chasing or if we should just head straight home. After discussing that there was a slight risk for central and northeastern Illinois with not the best indices, we decided that it would be best if we just headed straight home. If anything did fire up, which it appears that some things did in those areas right about now, we knew that we would be losing daylight fast--like the past few days. Also, we knew that we would have to sit around and wait for things to happen, like we had to do the past few days, with the chance that nothing would happen, like the past few days. There really wasn't a big reason to try to chase since that would've put us back in Indiana at about 1-2 am.
Today, we just reflected on our time and drove. Nothing too special really. We ended up getting back to the suburbs of Indianapolis at about 7:30 pm or so and now I'm home. I think it's going to be strange not smelling horrific things all the time, although there's always my dad haha, and not having to see the same 11 people every moment of my waking hour. I think the weirdest adjustment, though, will be not feeling like a nomad and living in a van (not down by the river lol).
Thanks for being loyal followers of my blog and I invite you to check this site often because although I won't be blogging about sweet storm stories, or lack-there-of, I do love to blog about other things and things that I'm passionate about. Who knows, maybe I'll chase on my own a little bit too when things pop up around the area and I'll blog about those experiences...Thanks again and sorry I couldn't get a tornado for ya!
We started our day with a meeting at our hotel--not struck by a tornado last night--in Chillicothe, MO. We met to discuss the weather outlook for the day and to see if there was anything worth chasing or if we should just head straight home. After discussing that there was a slight risk for central and northeastern Illinois with not the best indices, we decided that it would be best if we just headed straight home. If anything did fire up, which it appears that some things did in those areas right about now, we knew that we would be losing daylight fast--like the past few days. Also, we knew that we would have to sit around and wait for things to happen, like we had to do the past few days, with the chance that nothing would happen, like the past few days. There really wasn't a big reason to try to chase since that would've put us back in Indiana at about 1-2 am.
Today, we just reflected on our time and drove. Nothing too special really. We ended up getting back to the suburbs of Indianapolis at about 7:30 pm or so and now I'm home. I think it's going to be strange not smelling horrific things all the time, although there's always my dad haha, and not having to see the same 11 people every moment of my waking hour. I think the weirdest adjustment, though, will be not feeling like a nomad and living in a van (not down by the river lol).
Thanks for being loyal followers of my blog and I invite you to check this site often because although I won't be blogging about sweet storm stories, or lack-there-of, I do love to blog about other things and things that I'm passionate about. Who knows, maybe I'll chase on my own a little bit too when things pop up around the area and I'll blog about those experiences...Thanks again and sorry I couldn't get a tornado for ya!
Day 17 of the Great Storm Chase!
Yo yo, so today we had a day let me tell you. We started off in Omaha, NE of course and we decided to to head south towards Topeka, KS to start off our day. We got there and had lunch at Wendy's and checked out some more soundings, indices, dew point temps, surface temps, maps, etc. to see where we should go and when things would fire up.
We, of course, ended up sitting around Wendy's for about 2 hours waiting on these storms to fire. We had the best location for when things actually would fire up since we could relocate to any general area, so we just had to wait and see where it would happen. We had amazing indices! There was almost a 4000 CAPE, -8 LI, decent CIN--although a little high, 84 Fahrenheit temp, 68 Fahrenheit dew, and not much cloud cover. Everything was perfect for supercells; we just needed a trigger to fire these storms. We were originally relying on the dryline to move in and get these storms to fire up in Topeka but we then realized that a deep, immature storm was starting to form northwest of us somewhat near Falls City, NE--but still in northern Kansas.
We grabbed our computers and ran to the vans to quickly gas up and hit the road to intercept this promising cell. We shot up north as fast as possible and we had Korey as navigator, Dan and Stephen on radar, and me and Brad as spotters. I also helped to figure out some road networks in the area and to help Korey in making sure roads were paved and all that. We were heading to the storm when one cell fired south of it and it was a better play than the original one we were looking at. By this time, the northern storm was more mature, had a slight hook, great shear, and a meso marker. We figured it would drop a tornado soon but we would have to go through the southern cell to get to it. Therefore, we decided to make a play on the supercell to the south since it was easier to get to and it was rapidly growing.
These cells were cruising though! They were moving at about 24 mph or so, so we had to book it in order to get ahead of it. We got to a decent location to intercept this storm when we also started running into A LOT of other chasers in the area. We stopped at a somewhat flat area to watch a shelf and wall cloud rotate to see if it would drop a tornado. We watched it for a little while and then saw that the rotation was slowing down and that the northern cell was getting better. After a few minutes of discussion, we decided to jut over to the northern cell. One of the biggest issue of this chase was the terrain. There were a lot of hills and a lot of trees that obstructed our view.
While we were passing the time at this cell, though, a few of us were talking about the "Bear Cage" of the supercell. I brought up the idea of bears actually coming from the Bear Cage and how absurd it would be if storms dropped every kind of bear from the sky instead of hail. Then someone brought up, what if storms dropped bears instead of tornadoes. Then we acted out what would happen and said that the bears would come spinning down from the sky and they'd be angry and hungry. It would be so much more dangerous to chase storms that dropped bears of every kind from the sky instead of tornadoes...we had nothing better to do, haha.
We ran into even more chasers as we went after this northern cell and we even saw the chasers that we ran into yesterday as well as the new TIV and Vortex 2. En route, we saw a town that got hammered by the storm. There were leaves and small branches all over the place from the wind. We even saw massive amounts of hail in neighboring fields, so one of our vans stopped to collect some of the hail stones. They were 4.25 inches--softball-sized hail! Also, we saw a lot of pods with anemometers and all kinds of instruments that were set along the roads, probably by Vortex 2 or someone else doing research. That was pretty cool to see.
We got to a great location where there were about 4 meso markers and we stopped and watched this storm as well. This is the point when everything started to get crazy. There were over 100 chasers lining the road, it was absolutely dangerous! So many locals, professionals, and hobbyists were chasing these storms and a lot of them were driving and parking crazily, which made for hazardous conditions on top of hazardous weather.
We watched this one for just a little bit when we were finally able to find a spot to pull over. We looked for a little while and then noticed that the southern cell was picking up strength quickly, so we decided to get back to that one. The traffic was so horrible on the 2-lane road that we saw a small break in the cars and we jumped in the vans as fast as possible and took off down the road.
We were able to get to a part of the storm that was looking monstrous! We could see where the core was and it was pouring down rain very heavily in that area. We saw something that looked like a lowering cloud briefly inside of the heavy rain and once we couldn't see much at all in that area, we decided to pull off onto a nearby road instead of punching that area and risking getting hit by something that was hidden--a tornado. We waited there for about a minute or two and then decided to punch it and drive through it to get to a better part of the storm. We got hit by golf ball sized hail on the way through and a lot of rain. We got to another small road that was horribly littered with chasers as far as you could see! It was absolutely ridiculous!
We watched these storms for awhile and saw several mesocyclones and wall clouds but we never got to see a tornado. It was getting really dark by this time so we decided to book a hotel, since we hadn't yet and it was already 9 pm with a bazillion chasers in the area. I was able to book a decent hotel about 40 miles away, thankfully, so we stopped off at KFC on the way to our hotel.
We ended up chasing into Missouri today, so we ended up in Chillicothe, MO for the night. We got to our hotel at a decent time and unloaded our vans. Not too long after we got here, one of the guys ran in our room and said that there was a tornado on the ground really close to our hotel. We quickly turned on the local news to see what they were saying and sure enough, there was a tornado on the ground right next to where we just came from and were chasing. A few of us ran into my professor's room and we were looking at the radar, velocity data, VIL data, etc. We figured out that we could drive north on the neighboring road for about 15 minutes and would be able to intercept the storm easily. We then figured out that the storm's velocity was about 30 mph northeast and we calculated that it would take about an hour for that part of the storm to reach our interception point...no tornado would last that long. We then saw that a decent cell that was rapidly growing with decent sized hail just southwest of us and heading right for our hotel. I kept an eye on it for awhile but it started dissipating soon before it got to us and didn't exactly amount to anything.
We did find out that there was a tornado within the heavy amount of rain that was right next to us when we decided to stop after losing sight of the lowering cloud. We were there, but the tornado was rain-wrapped and it was impossible to see a thing...I don't consider it as anything really. It was great that we were in the right location but it doesn't do much if you can't see it.
Today was a great day and unfortunately the last. Tomorrow we're heading back to Indiana but there's a possibility that we'll chase our way back. There's some decent outlooks for severe storms in east-central Illinois, so we are thinking about trying to check those storms out on our way. The only problem would be that it's pretty likely, at least at this point, that those storms will squall out and will probably thus not give us a tornado.
We've seen everything there is to see with severe storms and supercells on this trip...everything BUT a tornado :( Today, we saw an amazing sunset and a very vivid rainbow--the best I've ever seen in my entire life! It was so bold and we even were able to see the end of it! Can you believe it! (No, there was no leprechauns or pots of gold)
I guess there's always a slight chance for tomorrow--so for one last time, hope for the best!
Good night!
We, of course, ended up sitting around Wendy's for about 2 hours waiting on these storms to fire. We had the best location for when things actually would fire up since we could relocate to any general area, so we just had to wait and see where it would happen. We had amazing indices! There was almost a 4000 CAPE, -8 LI, decent CIN--although a little high, 84 Fahrenheit temp, 68 Fahrenheit dew, and not much cloud cover. Everything was perfect for supercells; we just needed a trigger to fire these storms. We were originally relying on the dryline to move in and get these storms to fire up in Topeka but we then realized that a deep, immature storm was starting to form northwest of us somewhat near Falls City, NE--but still in northern Kansas.
We grabbed our computers and ran to the vans to quickly gas up and hit the road to intercept this promising cell. We shot up north as fast as possible and we had Korey as navigator, Dan and Stephen on radar, and me and Brad as spotters. I also helped to figure out some road networks in the area and to help Korey in making sure roads were paved and all that. We were heading to the storm when one cell fired south of it and it was a better play than the original one we were looking at. By this time, the northern storm was more mature, had a slight hook, great shear, and a meso marker. We figured it would drop a tornado soon but we would have to go through the southern cell to get to it. Therefore, we decided to make a play on the supercell to the south since it was easier to get to and it was rapidly growing.
These cells were cruising though! They were moving at about 24 mph or so, so we had to book it in order to get ahead of it. We got to a decent location to intercept this storm when we also started running into A LOT of other chasers in the area. We stopped at a somewhat flat area to watch a shelf and wall cloud rotate to see if it would drop a tornado. We watched it for a little while and then saw that the rotation was slowing down and that the northern cell was getting better. After a few minutes of discussion, we decided to jut over to the northern cell. One of the biggest issue of this chase was the terrain. There were a lot of hills and a lot of trees that obstructed our view.
While we were passing the time at this cell, though, a few of us were talking about the "Bear Cage" of the supercell. I brought up the idea of bears actually coming from the Bear Cage and how absurd it would be if storms dropped every kind of bear from the sky instead of hail. Then someone brought up, what if storms dropped bears instead of tornadoes. Then we acted out what would happen and said that the bears would come spinning down from the sky and they'd be angry and hungry. It would be so much more dangerous to chase storms that dropped bears of every kind from the sky instead of tornadoes...we had nothing better to do, haha.
We ran into even more chasers as we went after this northern cell and we even saw the chasers that we ran into yesterday as well as the new TIV and Vortex 2. En route, we saw a town that got hammered by the storm. There were leaves and small branches all over the place from the wind. We even saw massive amounts of hail in neighboring fields, so one of our vans stopped to collect some of the hail stones. They were 4.25 inches--softball-sized hail! Also, we saw a lot of pods with anemometers and all kinds of instruments that were set along the roads, probably by Vortex 2 or someone else doing research. That was pretty cool to see.
We got to a great location where there were about 4 meso markers and we stopped and watched this storm as well. This is the point when everything started to get crazy. There were over 100 chasers lining the road, it was absolutely dangerous! So many locals, professionals, and hobbyists were chasing these storms and a lot of them were driving and parking crazily, which made for hazardous conditions on top of hazardous weather.
We watched this one for just a little bit when we were finally able to find a spot to pull over. We looked for a little while and then noticed that the southern cell was picking up strength quickly, so we decided to get back to that one. The traffic was so horrible on the 2-lane road that we saw a small break in the cars and we jumped in the vans as fast as possible and took off down the road.
We were able to get to a part of the storm that was looking monstrous! We could see where the core was and it was pouring down rain very heavily in that area. We saw something that looked like a lowering cloud briefly inside of the heavy rain and once we couldn't see much at all in that area, we decided to pull off onto a nearby road instead of punching that area and risking getting hit by something that was hidden--a tornado. We waited there for about a minute or two and then decided to punch it and drive through it to get to a better part of the storm. We got hit by golf ball sized hail on the way through and a lot of rain. We got to another small road that was horribly littered with chasers as far as you could see! It was absolutely ridiculous!
We watched these storms for awhile and saw several mesocyclones and wall clouds but we never got to see a tornado. It was getting really dark by this time so we decided to book a hotel, since we hadn't yet and it was already 9 pm with a bazillion chasers in the area. I was able to book a decent hotel about 40 miles away, thankfully, so we stopped off at KFC on the way to our hotel.
We ended up chasing into Missouri today, so we ended up in Chillicothe, MO for the night. We got to our hotel at a decent time and unloaded our vans. Not too long after we got here, one of the guys ran in our room and said that there was a tornado on the ground really close to our hotel. We quickly turned on the local news to see what they were saying and sure enough, there was a tornado on the ground right next to where we just came from and were chasing. A few of us ran into my professor's room and we were looking at the radar, velocity data, VIL data, etc. We figured out that we could drive north on the neighboring road for about 15 minutes and would be able to intercept the storm easily. We then figured out that the storm's velocity was about 30 mph northeast and we calculated that it would take about an hour for that part of the storm to reach our interception point...no tornado would last that long. We then saw that a decent cell that was rapidly growing with decent sized hail just southwest of us and heading right for our hotel. I kept an eye on it for awhile but it started dissipating soon before it got to us and didn't exactly amount to anything.
We did find out that there was a tornado within the heavy amount of rain that was right next to us when we decided to stop after losing sight of the lowering cloud. We were there, but the tornado was rain-wrapped and it was impossible to see a thing...I don't consider it as anything really. It was great that we were in the right location but it doesn't do much if you can't see it.
Today was a great day and unfortunately the last. Tomorrow we're heading back to Indiana but there's a possibility that we'll chase our way back. There's some decent outlooks for severe storms in east-central Illinois, so we are thinking about trying to check those storms out on our way. The only problem would be that it's pretty likely, at least at this point, that those storms will squall out and will probably thus not give us a tornado.
We've seen everything there is to see with severe storms and supercells on this trip...everything BUT a tornado :( Today, we saw an amazing sunset and a very vivid rainbow--the best I've ever seen in my entire life! It was so bold and we even were able to see the end of it! Can you believe it! (No, there was no leprechauns or pots of gold)
I guess there's always a slight chance for tomorrow--so for one last time, hope for the best!
Good night!
June 07, 2009
Day 16 of the Great Storm Chase!
Well, I don't even know why any of you are still reading my blogs, haha. Not really much to report about today except for another major bust. We left our hotel in Lexington, NE to head to Lincoln, NE and assess where the best spot for storms would be in that area. We figured things would fire up in that general vicinity and we were thinking of possibly finding something in deep southeastern Iowa.
I was the navigator today and I was extremely exhausted from yesterday and the fact that I haven't gotten more than 5 or so hours of sleep the past few days and have been going strong during those days was taking its toll on me. With that being said and the fact that I could barely keep my eyes open, I subjected myself to drinking an energy drink so that I could be alert and ready to navigate. It did the trick and navigating today wasn't that intense anyways.
We came into Lincoln and ate lunch at the amazing Cracker Barrel again and then we decided to head to Nebraska City and reevaluate again to see which direction we needed to head. When we got to Nebraska City, we pulled into a gas station that was near a hotel so we could get snacks, drinks, and tap into the neighboring hotel's internet. When we did, we realized that we should probably stay put in that area because it had the best chances for storms--if the cloud deck would ever move out.
We had a lot of trouble with cloud cover today and it was soaking up all of the sun's radiation and thus energy for our storms. The spot where we were stationed had a temperature of 94 and dew point of 70...it was miserable! I wore jeans today because it was 40 something in the city where we started and foggy. As we waited to see where we should go, if anywhere, some of us threw the football around even though it was horribly hot out.
The clouds weren't clearing very much and where they were clearing, it wasn't moving too fast. We watched for a little while and we sat in that parking lot for almost 3 hours! The NSSL probe stationed themselves there for a little while too and we saw Valporaiso chasers (also from Indiana) as well as several independent chasers who had the same idea as us. One of the guys got a chance to talk to the people from the National Severe Storms Laboratory Probe and he said that they punched the core yesterday that dropped baseball sized hail. Their van got damaged and they just got the windshield replaced because it got smashed out. Apparently, the majority of Vortex 2 was in western Nebraska for the day in the same spot where we chased yesterday because there were a few cells firing up in that area. They sent two vehicles to the area where we all were.
We finally decided to move on to Shenandoah, IA, which was only about 30 miles east of the Nebraska, Iowa border because it appeared that a few weak towers we saw east of us were starting to break the cap. We knew that it wasn't much and considering it was already 6:30 pm, if anything did actually fire up, it would probably happen either when it was dark or when it was getting pretty dark. We did want to give it a shot though and it was our only option to see anything for the day since everything turned out to be a bust. We got in the vans and headed east when we passed a few storm chasers on the side of the road looking at the sky; probably also trying to figure out whether anything was going to happen or not. We were getting closer to our destination when we passed an even bigger line of chasers looking at the sky, so we decided to stop and talk with them to pass the time, since any tower at all looked incredibly weak and incapable of producing anything more than rain.
We talked to them for a little bit and found out that they were from New York and had only been out for a week so far. Of course, everyone who we've ran into since yesterday has asked us if we saw the Wyoming tornado. Then they usually follow it up with some remark about how amazing it was, especially if they got there. They did the same thing ;/
It was pretty neat talking to them though and to hear their perspectives on things and learn that they've been chasing for over 14 or so years. We realized that we should just head to our hotel in Omaha and eat a decent restaurant for dinner so we left.
We got to Omaha and of course our Garmin GPS, which has been taking us to random places this whole time, got us somewhat lost in downtown Omaha and then died on us, haha. We had to try to charge it in the car and then it took us into a very bad part of town and got us lost again and then it finally got us to where we needed to be. Our joke of the trip has been that the Garmin is actually someone using it to take us into dark allies and dark truck stops, etc. and then somemone is there waiting to mug us. Yes, it has taken us to these places and for no apparent reason, haha.
We ate at a pretty good local restaurant and then we got to our hotel here in Omaha. a pretty lame and slow day fo sho.
Heather talked to WIBC yesterday and the guy asked her what the advantages were of being one of two of the only girls on the trip and afterwards we were thinking of things she should've said. I said that she should've said that we've learned a lot about farts, poop, alcohol, and women. Yesterday, my van spent over an hour talking about people who accidentally pooped their pants when they thought they only had to fart, haha. Today, there was a contest to see who could make the best farting noises with their mouths. Every girl we pass ever is rated on their scale of hotness and drinking stories are always shared and they often talk about which beer they like best. This is what we learn when we ride in the car with 10 other guys...haha. Also, we never stop smelling poo and feet and overall nastiness. Last night, all the guys were saying that our van smelled like a gerbal cage.
With all of that said, haha, I think I'm going to spare you the rest of the details about the awkness and nastiness of our times. Only two more days left so we're definitely getting extremely desparate and moody to see a tornado. Hope for the best!
Good night!
I was the navigator today and I was extremely exhausted from yesterday and the fact that I haven't gotten more than 5 or so hours of sleep the past few days and have been going strong during those days was taking its toll on me. With that being said and the fact that I could barely keep my eyes open, I subjected myself to drinking an energy drink so that I could be alert and ready to navigate. It did the trick and navigating today wasn't that intense anyways.
We came into Lincoln and ate lunch at the amazing Cracker Barrel again and then we decided to head to Nebraska City and reevaluate again to see which direction we needed to head. When we got to Nebraska City, we pulled into a gas station that was near a hotel so we could get snacks, drinks, and tap into the neighboring hotel's internet. When we did, we realized that we should probably stay put in that area because it had the best chances for storms--if the cloud deck would ever move out.
We had a lot of trouble with cloud cover today and it was soaking up all of the sun's radiation and thus energy for our storms. The spot where we were stationed had a temperature of 94 and dew point of 70...it was miserable! I wore jeans today because it was 40 something in the city where we started and foggy. As we waited to see where we should go, if anywhere, some of us threw the football around even though it was horribly hot out.
The clouds weren't clearing very much and where they were clearing, it wasn't moving too fast. We watched for a little while and we sat in that parking lot for almost 3 hours! The NSSL probe stationed themselves there for a little while too and we saw Valporaiso chasers (also from Indiana) as well as several independent chasers who had the same idea as us. One of the guys got a chance to talk to the people from the National Severe Storms Laboratory Probe and he said that they punched the core yesterday that dropped baseball sized hail. Their van got damaged and they just got the windshield replaced because it got smashed out. Apparently, the majority of Vortex 2 was in western Nebraska for the day in the same spot where we chased yesterday because there were a few cells firing up in that area. They sent two vehicles to the area where we all were.
We finally decided to move on to Shenandoah, IA, which was only about 30 miles east of the Nebraska, Iowa border because it appeared that a few weak towers we saw east of us were starting to break the cap. We knew that it wasn't much and considering it was already 6:30 pm, if anything did actually fire up, it would probably happen either when it was dark or when it was getting pretty dark. We did want to give it a shot though and it was our only option to see anything for the day since everything turned out to be a bust. We got in the vans and headed east when we passed a few storm chasers on the side of the road looking at the sky; probably also trying to figure out whether anything was going to happen or not. We were getting closer to our destination when we passed an even bigger line of chasers looking at the sky, so we decided to stop and talk with them to pass the time, since any tower at all looked incredibly weak and incapable of producing anything more than rain.
We talked to them for a little bit and found out that they were from New York and had only been out for a week so far. Of course, everyone who we've ran into since yesterday has asked us if we saw the Wyoming tornado. Then they usually follow it up with some remark about how amazing it was, especially if they got there. They did the same thing ;/
It was pretty neat talking to them though and to hear their perspectives on things and learn that they've been chasing for over 14 or so years. We realized that we should just head to our hotel in Omaha and eat a decent restaurant for dinner so we left.
We got to Omaha and of course our Garmin GPS, which has been taking us to random places this whole time, got us somewhat lost in downtown Omaha and then died on us, haha. We had to try to charge it in the car and then it took us into a very bad part of town and got us lost again and then it finally got us to where we needed to be. Our joke of the trip has been that the Garmin is actually someone using it to take us into dark allies and dark truck stops, etc. and then somemone is there waiting to mug us. Yes, it has taken us to these places and for no apparent reason, haha.
We ate at a pretty good local restaurant and then we got to our hotel here in Omaha. a pretty lame and slow day fo sho.
Heather talked to WIBC yesterday and the guy asked her what the advantages were of being one of two of the only girls on the trip and afterwards we were thinking of things she should've said. I said that she should've said that we've learned a lot about farts, poop, alcohol, and women. Yesterday, my van spent over an hour talking about people who accidentally pooped their pants when they thought they only had to fart, haha. Today, there was a contest to see who could make the best farting noises with their mouths. Every girl we pass ever is rated on their scale of hotness and drinking stories are always shared and they often talk about which beer they like best. This is what we learn when we ride in the car with 10 other guys...haha. Also, we never stop smelling poo and feet and overall nastiness. Last night, all the guys were saying that our van smelled like a gerbal cage.
With all of that said, haha, I think I'm going to spare you the rest of the details about the awkness and nastiness of our times. Only two more days left so we're definitely getting extremely desparate and moody to see a tornado. Hope for the best!
Good night!
June 06, 2009
Day 15 of the Great Storm Chase!
It's been a 17-hour day through 4 states (Oklahoma, Kansas, Colorado, Nebraska) and in all honesty I'm surprised I'm even writing this blog tonight. Today was another horrible day in the way of disappointment. I feel like that's pretty much my theme in these blogs but I have to tell you, it's most def not by choice!
We started the day in Guymon, OK and were planning on heading towards the northwestern Kansas area. We had a very quick meeting and I ate my breakfast in literally 2 minutes and while analyzing and drawing out a surface map. We met at 9:00am CDT and we all agreed that we needed to hit the road ASAP to get to the area by the time we needed to, so we left. The ones of us analyzing and drawing out maps had to do it on the road and we were told to report our findings to Dr. Call 20 minutes after. I know I'm improving my skills because I'm absolutely horrible at creating isolines for some reason and have a hard time analyzing these maps that we get but today I seemed to be able to do it without much trouble at all and it was right on cue.
After we discussed everything that was going on via walkie talkies, we kept heading towards northwestern Kansas where we ate lunch and then decided to stop at a nearby hotel to use their Internet to get more soundings and outlooks from the SPC. It appeared that the best helicity was to the north but the best CAPE's were filling into the south. Also, we had decent moisture and temps all over but there was a pesky cloud deck that stationed itself in the areas we were hoping to get some storms. We also found that the LCL and LFC heights weren't too far apart meaning that the storms didn't have too far to go before reaching the level of free convection (LFC) and thus didn't have much CIN. This wasn't necessarily a good thing because this would potentially cause the storms to squall out and not be supercellular in nature. We had to make a choice about what we should do and we decided to stay put for a little while because we thought we had a good chance of good storms where we were.
We stuck around in the motel parking lot for awhile, with their permission of course, and the guys threw the football around and a few others of us just kind of sat around and kept an eye on things. We were there for a long time and in actuality it almost kind of reminded me of Hampton Beach. It was extremely hot, the motel looked like something straight from Hampton Beach, and we were all just chilling and not doing too much but hanging out. I miss project!
Dr. Call told us that there was a supercell forming in eastern Wyoming and wanted to know if we wanted to try to get to it. The thing was that the cell was 4 hours north of us and at that time didn't seem like the best idea. We figured that if we went after that cell we would cut ourselves off from any other possibility of getting to anything else that might fire up. The weirdest part was that the cell formed through the cloud deck...not normal since the daytime heating isn't as intense there. We sat around and hung out some more when we found that a tornado warning was reported for the cell in Wyoming and the cell had the perfect, textbook hook to it on the radar. It was the exact picture that we've studied in supercell formation and hooks. This thing had shear, high VIL's, large hail, and now a hook. We knew it was only a small matter of time before the tornado would touchdown. We were disappointed but we knew there was no way we could've gotten to that cell in time since there was only a half an hour to an hour between the time that we saw the cell and the time that it intensified to that point.
We decided that we did need to move somewhere though so we decided to head into northeastern Colorado since some storms were firing up south of Denver. We packed up and moved on about 40 minutes west and we made another decision to either go for the storms coming up from southern Denver or to move north to intercept the cell that was moving in from Wyoming into Nebraska. This was the point where we found out that tornado was reported from that cell that popped up in Wyoming and it was on the ground for 24 minutes! That's ridiculous! Apparently, Vortex 2 and Reed Timmer's group (the TIV and Discovery Channel people) got to that tornado on time and got amazing video and pictures of it...AWESOME! Just what we needed to boost morale, NOT.
We decided that it would be best to head north because the area had the best looking indices overall. We jumped in the vans and shot north into Nebraska to intercept these storms. We got closer to the storm and were heading into the part we wanted to be the most when we were having issues seeing past the hilly terrain. We were driving and all pumped when we saw what looked like a wall cloud. Then, hanging from that wall cloud was a little notch that appeared to start turning into a funnel. There were several notches all around it too and there was even a few wall clouds within that same area. It looked like a funnel starting to come down then we all started chanting and screaming when we saw it hit the ground! We were so excited to finally see a tornado and we were all so ecstatic!!
When we got closer, we realized that what we saw was a mere allusion. It was only scud from the storm and is often mistaken for funnel clouds, wall clouds, tornadoes, etc. AWESOME! This is when we started to really get ticked I'm pretty sure. We had an amazing view of the sky with the sunsetting in the background, rain shafts and a meso to the right of it, and another promising cell to the left of it. It was definitely one of the most amazing views I've ever seen!
We decided to go on top of a nearby hill in the field neighboring the road where we parked to get a better view since the hill blocked it from the other cell just next to us. We were up there for awhile when we decided that it would be best to come down since the lightning started to pick up a lot more. We could've easily been struck if we stayed up there. We came back to the vans and watched the storm hoping and praying for a tornado until it got pretty dark. We decided to move back up the road a little bit to get a better view of the cell to our left.
We went on top of that hill to get a better view as well. When we did, we watched the storm desperately seeking the rain shaft and bottom of the shelf cloud for a lowering wall cloud, but it never happened. We looked back towards the road to see some of Vortex 2 traveling past us. A local college girl joined us for a small part of our time while we were looking at the sky because she was a storm spotter. She was on the phone with her dad as the Vortex 2 vehicles passed by and she said that we were on the Weather Channel live. Apparently, the truck was doing a live feed of the storm we were watching when they drove by and they got us on top of the hill.
We watched that one for awhile too but it was getting really dark at this point and the lightning was getting more and more intense. In fact, there was one lightning strike that was less than a mile away and we all ran as fast as we could back to the vans, haha. We went up the road a little bit more to keep watching these storms from the inside of our vans because they had amazing potential to drop a tornado. There was lightning all around us and the once barren road was littered with local storm spotters, enthusiasts, and chasers all hoping for a tornado to form. We finally decided to leave when we couldn't see a thing anymore and it was already after 9:30 pm MDT. We still had a little over 2 hours to our hotel and we still had to stop for dinner.
We made a quick stop at a gas station that had a Subway and we noticed that everyone and their brother that was out chasing was also there. We saw some of Vortex 2's greatest equipment there: the 2 Doppler's on wheels and the mesonet. Apparently, the Weather Channel's on-air talent was also there but I was in such a horrible mood that I didn't really care too much. We got back in the vans to head to our final destination in Lexington, NE when we looked at the radar to see that the highway we were planning on taking the whole way there was getting hammered with baseball sized hail and a good threat for a tornado. There was a tornado warning out for that exact area and we had to be very cautious because of the huge hail and the fact that if there was a tornado, we wouldn't be able to see it--making it incredibly dangerous.
After a long discussion and look at the maps, we decided to start out on that road still and to pull off in Paxton, NE. It was also during this time that we found out that a tornado struck Paxton only 20 minutes earlier...Awesome! Another tornado out of reach and impossible to see, literally.
We got to Paxton and reevaluated to find that the storm that was once tracking south southeast was now tracking straight east. This was great news because it meant that our path would be crystal clear to get to our hotel. When we pulled off in Paxton, we passed another entourage of Vortex 2 and a whole heap of semi's and cars pulled off on the side of the road too scared to punch through the storm--who could blame them? Part of our reasoning to continue on was because one of Vortex 2's most expensive piece of equipment continued on US-80, the road we were debating taking, and we knew that they wouldn't drive that into baseball sized hail. When we saw that they were going for it, we knew that it probably wouldn't be a bad idea to continue on instead of trying to wait the storm out, so we left.
The rest of the night was smooth sailing but we didn't get to our hotel until 2:00 am CDT this time...like I said, I'm surprised I'm even writing this right now but I wanted to do it while it was still fresh. Tomorrow's outlooks look okay but worse than today's so we can only hope now...oh, we can only hope. We only have about 3 more days roughly and this is a very bittersweet ending as of now. Tensions are at a max, frustrations overloaded, and the group is getting dangerously close to our breaking point. We each feel so horribly defeated right now and it seems as if anyone could snap at any minute...not a good thing that's for sure. Hope for the best!
Good night!
We started the day in Guymon, OK and were planning on heading towards the northwestern Kansas area. We had a very quick meeting and I ate my breakfast in literally 2 minutes and while analyzing and drawing out a surface map. We met at 9:00am CDT and we all agreed that we needed to hit the road ASAP to get to the area by the time we needed to, so we left. The ones of us analyzing and drawing out maps had to do it on the road and we were told to report our findings to Dr. Call 20 minutes after. I know I'm improving my skills because I'm absolutely horrible at creating isolines for some reason and have a hard time analyzing these maps that we get but today I seemed to be able to do it without much trouble at all and it was right on cue.
After we discussed everything that was going on via walkie talkies, we kept heading towards northwestern Kansas where we ate lunch and then decided to stop at a nearby hotel to use their Internet to get more soundings and outlooks from the SPC. It appeared that the best helicity was to the north but the best CAPE's were filling into the south. Also, we had decent moisture and temps all over but there was a pesky cloud deck that stationed itself in the areas we were hoping to get some storms. We also found that the LCL and LFC heights weren't too far apart meaning that the storms didn't have too far to go before reaching the level of free convection (LFC) and thus didn't have much CIN. This wasn't necessarily a good thing because this would potentially cause the storms to squall out and not be supercellular in nature. We had to make a choice about what we should do and we decided to stay put for a little while because we thought we had a good chance of good storms where we were.
We stuck around in the motel parking lot for awhile, with their permission of course, and the guys threw the football around and a few others of us just kind of sat around and kept an eye on things. We were there for a long time and in actuality it almost kind of reminded me of Hampton Beach. It was extremely hot, the motel looked like something straight from Hampton Beach, and we were all just chilling and not doing too much but hanging out. I miss project!
Dr. Call told us that there was a supercell forming in eastern Wyoming and wanted to know if we wanted to try to get to it. The thing was that the cell was 4 hours north of us and at that time didn't seem like the best idea. We figured that if we went after that cell we would cut ourselves off from any other possibility of getting to anything else that might fire up. The weirdest part was that the cell formed through the cloud deck...not normal since the daytime heating isn't as intense there. We sat around and hung out some more when we found that a tornado warning was reported for the cell in Wyoming and the cell had the perfect, textbook hook to it on the radar. It was the exact picture that we've studied in supercell formation and hooks. This thing had shear, high VIL's, large hail, and now a hook. We knew it was only a small matter of time before the tornado would touchdown. We were disappointed but we knew there was no way we could've gotten to that cell in time since there was only a half an hour to an hour between the time that we saw the cell and the time that it intensified to that point.
We decided that we did need to move somewhere though so we decided to head into northeastern Colorado since some storms were firing up south of Denver. We packed up and moved on about 40 minutes west and we made another decision to either go for the storms coming up from southern Denver or to move north to intercept the cell that was moving in from Wyoming into Nebraska. This was the point where we found out that tornado was reported from that cell that popped up in Wyoming and it was on the ground for 24 minutes! That's ridiculous! Apparently, Vortex 2 and Reed Timmer's group (the TIV and Discovery Channel people) got to that tornado on time and got amazing video and pictures of it...AWESOME! Just what we needed to boost morale, NOT.
We decided that it would be best to head north because the area had the best looking indices overall. We jumped in the vans and shot north into Nebraska to intercept these storms. We got closer to the storm and were heading into the part we wanted to be the most when we were having issues seeing past the hilly terrain. We were driving and all pumped when we saw what looked like a wall cloud. Then, hanging from that wall cloud was a little notch that appeared to start turning into a funnel. There were several notches all around it too and there was even a few wall clouds within that same area. It looked like a funnel starting to come down then we all started chanting and screaming when we saw it hit the ground! We were so excited to finally see a tornado and we were all so ecstatic!!
When we got closer, we realized that what we saw was a mere allusion. It was only scud from the storm and is often mistaken for funnel clouds, wall clouds, tornadoes, etc. AWESOME! This is when we started to really get ticked I'm pretty sure. We had an amazing view of the sky with the sunsetting in the background, rain shafts and a meso to the right of it, and another promising cell to the left of it. It was definitely one of the most amazing views I've ever seen!
We decided to go on top of a nearby hill in the field neighboring the road where we parked to get a better view since the hill blocked it from the other cell just next to us. We were up there for awhile when we decided that it would be best to come down since the lightning started to pick up a lot more. We could've easily been struck if we stayed up there. We came back to the vans and watched the storm hoping and praying for a tornado until it got pretty dark. We decided to move back up the road a little bit to get a better view of the cell to our left.
We went on top of that hill to get a better view as well. When we did, we watched the storm desperately seeking the rain shaft and bottom of the shelf cloud for a lowering wall cloud, but it never happened. We looked back towards the road to see some of Vortex 2 traveling past us. A local college girl joined us for a small part of our time while we were looking at the sky because she was a storm spotter. She was on the phone with her dad as the Vortex 2 vehicles passed by and she said that we were on the Weather Channel live. Apparently, the truck was doing a live feed of the storm we were watching when they drove by and they got us on top of the hill.
We watched that one for awhile too but it was getting really dark at this point and the lightning was getting more and more intense. In fact, there was one lightning strike that was less than a mile away and we all ran as fast as we could back to the vans, haha. We went up the road a little bit more to keep watching these storms from the inside of our vans because they had amazing potential to drop a tornado. There was lightning all around us and the once barren road was littered with local storm spotters, enthusiasts, and chasers all hoping for a tornado to form. We finally decided to leave when we couldn't see a thing anymore and it was already after 9:30 pm MDT. We still had a little over 2 hours to our hotel and we still had to stop for dinner.
We made a quick stop at a gas station that had a Subway and we noticed that everyone and their brother that was out chasing was also there. We saw some of Vortex 2's greatest equipment there: the 2 Doppler's on wheels and the mesonet. Apparently, the Weather Channel's on-air talent was also there but I was in such a horrible mood that I didn't really care too much. We got back in the vans to head to our final destination in Lexington, NE when we looked at the radar to see that the highway we were planning on taking the whole way there was getting hammered with baseball sized hail and a good threat for a tornado. There was a tornado warning out for that exact area and we had to be very cautious because of the huge hail and the fact that if there was a tornado, we wouldn't be able to see it--making it incredibly dangerous.
After a long discussion and look at the maps, we decided to start out on that road still and to pull off in Paxton, NE. It was also during this time that we found out that a tornado struck Paxton only 20 minutes earlier...Awesome! Another tornado out of reach and impossible to see, literally.
We got to Paxton and reevaluated to find that the storm that was once tracking south southeast was now tracking straight east. This was great news because it meant that our path would be crystal clear to get to our hotel. When we pulled off in Paxton, we passed another entourage of Vortex 2 and a whole heap of semi's and cars pulled off on the side of the road too scared to punch through the storm--who could blame them? Part of our reasoning to continue on was because one of Vortex 2's most expensive piece of equipment continued on US-80, the road we were debating taking, and we knew that they wouldn't drive that into baseball sized hail. When we saw that they were going for it, we knew that it probably wouldn't be a bad idea to continue on instead of trying to wait the storm out, so we left.
The rest of the night was smooth sailing but we didn't get to our hotel until 2:00 am CDT this time...like I said, I'm surprised I'm even writing this right now but I wanted to do it while it was still fresh. Tomorrow's outlooks look okay but worse than today's so we can only hope now...oh, we can only hope. We only have about 3 more days roughly and this is a very bittersweet ending as of now. Tensions are at a max, frustrations overloaded, and the group is getting dangerously close to our breaking point. We each feel so horribly defeated right now and it seems as if anyone could snap at any minute...not a good thing that's for sure. Hope for the best!
Good night!
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